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It's the 23st of April. On behalf of all the Translators and Ambassadors of the Glorious Foreign Office, the Dutch Chief Translator brings you the Foreign Times.
The News You Never Knew That You Wanted To Know

MOUNTSSlowly, yet surely, the documents are moving into the Irish city of Mounts, also known as the Uncyclomedia Office. In a Meeting in the Jabber Conference Room in Toulouse, the Ambassadors of the Foreign Office decided that a parallel be made between the London Office and the Mounts Office, later followed by a permanent move. By now, the Assemblée Internationale, the Foreign Office Main Page, and some other features like the Foreign Times have been copied to the Uncyclomedia Office.

This move was decided during the Toulouse Meeting following the sounding of the Blue Alert, which was visited by three Dutch contingents and the Russian Ambassador. Among other things, it was decided that the Foreign Office be moved slowly yet surely to Mounts, since the neutrality of the United Kingdom was sometimes disputed. The Dutch-Flemish Ambassador, Cartoonist Henning, reasoned that some motivated members couldn't contribute to the project due to them being banned from England.

The moving has had some delays due to it not being clear who is to move all the pages. The Dutch Chief Translator, Lars Danzegger, encourages writers to move the pages that concern their language. “Quite frankly, top brass are just not interested in moving every tiny page. Writers should take their own responsability.” The English Conservative Party have argued that the move to Ireland would mean a lot of travelling for the writers who already had to come all the way to England and now have to move to Ireland as well. To be continued...

PLZEŇFrom the Dutch Embassy in the Czech Republic, the Dutch Chief Translator announced that he is going to try to end all hostilities between the Meta Armies and the Rebellious Countries in Europe and that he is going to try to find new Ambassadors for the countries that have dropped out of the Foreign Office. He mainly refers to Poland, Hungary, and France, whose Ambassadors have retired from their Ambassador jobs.

One of the main reasons, he said, was that “especially the French Désencyclopédie has a lot of very good articles that, right now, are kept hidden from the outside world. The same goes for the Psyklopedin and other Uncyclopedias.” He is going to initiate peace negotiations soon.

EYJAFJALLAJÖKULLScottish spies have confirmed that the eruption of Icelandic volcano Eyjafjallalökul, which paralyzed European air traffic, was actually triggered by Icelandic soldiers in order to evade air raids that were planned for this week. Planes from the Norwegian Air Force were to bomb the airports of Reykjavík and Keflavík, as well as some harbours. Now that the ash has gone, air raids may be going to take place tomorrow, which is a holiday, as is every day in Iceland. Meta Officials are already negotiating with Icelandic Representatives about a cease-fire in order not to attack a celebrating country.