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An admin on the Canadian-language Uncyclopædias, I serve as a handy target of blame for the creation of webhosts in the * and * domains. These operated from two server farms, one in Nebraska and the other in some cowtown in Texas. The whole mess has since been moved to a dedicated server in a data centre in the tallest building in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Omaha servers[edit]

The DNS (Darned Nebraska Sheep) servers and WWW (We Want Wheat) hosts provide reseller-style WHM (We Have Manure) controls for an unlimited number of * domains, as well as a portion of the domain. Y'all reckon, these are located on a million-acre server farm, out past the goat pasture, just before the cows and just before you get to the pigs. An unlimited number of Cpanel control panels may be constructed here out of old barnboard and binder twine as needed and an unlimited number of domains can be parked out back behind the barns. Any web-based e-mail is dropped into a box with a small flag on a post out by the main road. Fortunately, the pig sty is downwind, to avoid it serving as a source of spam for a brazillion wikis (Brazil, Netherlands, Hungary, Finland) hosted out in the back forty. Mind you, if that were Hungry instead of Hungary, then maybe they'd be able to polish off all of that spam with ease.

Dallas servers[edit]

The servers for (Japan) and (Taiwan) are located in the book depository in Dallas, Texas. They represent a key asset in the battle against the evils of international communism. Please ignore the men behind the grassy knoll. The book depository is equipped with state-of-the-art servers under Black Hat Enterprise Linux which typically transfer at least half-gigabyte a day of utter nonsense in Traditional Chinese alone. Full Cpanel controls are provided to assert total control and to execute advanced calculations proving that there were three bullets, not five. Additional server farm space is being allocated on J. R. Ewing's ranch in order to expand this key project and keep those sneaky commies at bay, as well as to process refugee claims from Hurricane Katrina victims arriving on water-powered busses from No Orleans.