Uncyclomedia servers

From Uncyclomedia, the UnMeta-wiki

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no one dares criticize it.

— Pierre Gallois

Warning: Do not rely on any information on this page being up-to-date or correct.

The Uncyclomedia projects are run from several servers, of which there are two sorts:

Omaha Servers

The names of the Omaha servers are primarily based on famous historical figures. They are used to run the Uncyclomedia projects. The server type was named after Omaha, the city in which they were first manufactured. Due to confusion between the name of the server group and the name of the city, a new group called the "Dallas" servers has been proposed. This, however, lacks considerable support.

Surrey-Saskatoon machines

The Surrey-Sasktoon have recently been named after various numbers (originally vegetables), like π, e, 69, 666, and 1337. They are used for maintenance, video games and MediaWiki.

Meet "Oscar": one of several servers providing Uncyclomedia content. Considered a breakthrough in graphic and text processing at the time of its release, our IT staff consider it more than adequate to serve up pages of drivel.
State of the art tape drives provide the horsepower for fast page serves.
Your donations to the Uncylomedia Foundation assist in the purchase of much-needed spare cassettes.

The popularity of the Uncyclopedia projects necessitates the use of many servers, under a Unix or Unix-like operating system (ex. GNU/Linux); however, all of them run the standard kernel and CBM.

List of Servers[edit]

Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.

— Popular Mechanics, March 1949
Someone set us up the logic bomb. You know what you doing. Take off every Gig! Move gigabytes, for great justice!

Omaha Servers[edit]

  • Sophia
  • Oscar
  • Chron
  • HAL9000
  • SAL
  • WOPR
  • Deep Thought
  • God

Surrey-Saskatoon Servers[edit]


  • 666
  • 710.77345
  • 9-1-1
  • 1337
  • 2001
  • 2010
  • 3000
  • 31337
  • PEnnsylvania 6-5000
  • 867-5309

Uncyclomedia server farms[edit]

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.

— Anonymous

Currently, the Uncyclomedia Foundation has constructed server farms in Canada, various US states and many nations across Europe and Asia.

Uncyclomedia server locations in the USA:
National languages Server farm Domains Location Omaha Surrey-Saskatoon
ar: ast: ca: cs: da: de: el: eo: es: fr: he: id: it: jv: pl: sk: su: yi: zh: Wikia.com uncyclopedia.org
California, Florida God, Jesus, Chron e, π, 13, 69, 666
Uncyclomedia server locations in Canada:
bg: bn: bs: cy: et: fa: fi: gl: got: hr: hu: ja: lb: lt: lv: mg: mk: nl: no: pt: ro: sl: sr: sv: th: tl: tr: uk: zh-hk: zh-tw: common: info: meta: Netelligent uncyc.org
Montréal Sophia
Uncyclomedia server locations in Asia:
National languages Server farm Domains Location Omaha Surrey-Saskatoon
ko: Kyonggi-do uncyclopedia.kr
Seoul, Korea Twinpix 38N
Uncyclomedia server locations in Europe:
National languages Server farm Domains Location Omaha Surrey-Saskatoon
qdb: Schlund.de chronarion.org Germany Norris, Vin 1984
ru: aws.amazon.com absurdopedia.net Russia
en: ovh.net uncyclopedia.co
France Zombie
fi: Inet.fi peelonet.zapto.org A VIC20 on somebody's dynamic IP ADSL connection in Finland (still down or redirected to hikipedia.info) AAAAAAAAA! 404


Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

— Andy Rooney
The nonsense goes in before the potato goes on

Uncyclomedia's Internet server farms are easily distinguished from other farms as on all of our server farms:

  • You have two cows
  • You have an infinite amount of bull with which to keep your two cows entertained.
  • The livery barns are hidden back from the main road a wee bit so Google can't find them.
  • Many of the participants are out in left field
  • The sheepfold is filled with massive arrays of dynamic RAMs
  • The symbols used to brand the horses are eight-bit Unicode.
  • The tractor-feed printers are powered by an old farm tractor
  • Live feeds are deployed to critters in the field by skilled Field Service reps
  • Potatoes keep an eye on every facet of server deployment
  • Barn cats keep the serial mice out of the granary.
  • Storage is implemented in a multiple-RAID configuration to keep the Y2K bugs off the horses
  • An extra array of redundant manure silos is provided to store text awaiting NRV.

An Uncyclomedia server farm can be counted upon to produce a bumper crop of potatoes under even the most adverse network conditions.


To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

— 1978 Farmers' Almanac, Untendo
Uncyclomedia servers rapidly receiving hits in Ansaikuropedia edit war

The Untendo Corporation is tasked with the construction of new servers for Uncyclomedia's server farms.

Untendo was formed in 2015 as a brand name for video game consoles. Marketed by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, these devices were built for people to access Uncyclopedia. Other devices made by Untendo include the servers to run Uncyclopedia and its spinoffs.

Untendo distributes Uncyclux, a GNU/Linux implementation built specifically to power Uncyclomedia's servers.

One key foundation of Untendo's technology is the construction of servers using potato chips, an alternative to the buffalo chips preferred by other mainboard manufacturers.

The greatest Untendo innovations are in manufacture of devices that are powered by potatoes; they consume less energy but will be powerful enough to generate a high quantity of memory. Potato crops are being improved in quality to serve as powerhouses for Untendo devices. Experimental farms in Idaho have been stupendous at serving Uncyclomedia power grids, along with Udaho.

Another key innovation is a dual-processor server board design, using two independent quad-core CPUs each with independent memory banks. During edit wars, one CPU handles edits to the affected pages while the other handles endless reversions to these edits - effectively doubling server capacity.

All servers use specialised error-correcting (ECC) memory modules to ensure that Uncyclopedia is free of the factual errors that sometimes creep into lesser encyclopædias.

A redundant array of Satã drives is used to store satanic messages.

AAAAAAAAA! Micro Devices is currently engaged in research to design a faster series of processors for the Untendo series of rack-mount computers. As a direct competitor to Inhel's Titanic-series processors, these will be 25% more powerful while delivering 5-10% less downtime. The new CPUs are expected to complete an endless loop in less than 45 seconds, a significant leap forward in performance compared to Uncyclomedia's current generation of processors.

Server racks[edit]

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

— Arthur C. Clarke
Rackmount deployment, an often-painful process

Administrators insist the management approach to rack deployments in network operations centres be strict and unyielding.

All of Uncyclomedia's server racks therefore are built to operate under the most torturous conditions. Built to exceed all EIA (España Inquisitors Association) standards, they can be used to restrain a misbehaving server and its operator until online performance improves.

These racks are then placed in special cages, constructed just outside the Toronto Zoo.

A fanatical adherence to this installation philosophy is expected to dramatically improve the reliability of Uncyclomedia networks. The number of queries answered per second has also increased substantially under this stricte, more exacting mode of operation.

But I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition![edit]

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!