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A)bort Bad Jokes, R)etry, or D)elete Nonsense


This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL.
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See also: http://bjaodn.org
If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!



This page is full up. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, UnSource:Wikipedia_BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love.

Contents

[edit] Talk:Elephant

On July 31, 2006, Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report tells his viewers to edit the Elephant page on Wikipedia to claim that "The number of elephants has tripled in the past six months". This humorous exchange appears a short time later in the Elephant talk page:


Has anyone actually considered whether Colbert is correct? I mean the elephant population could be increasing OR decreasing so there is a 50/50 chance that he could be correct. We should examine both sides of the controversy. --Thax 16:38, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

If you can cite some sources to that effect (e.g. anyone other than Colbert), then we can examine it. The nature of elephants is that gestation takes an extremely long time. It's doubtful that such a change could have occurred. alphaChimp laudare 16:48, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
I am glad you asked for a source that isn't Colbert, here is one from wikipedia, a very reliable source of information: [1] "Elephants are increasingly threatened by human intrusion, with the African elephant population tripling in the last 3 months." --Thax 17:00, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
I don't think you can cite this article in writing this article. That change was reverted, anyway, so it's obvious that it's not accepted by the community. alphaChimp laudare 17:22, 1 August 2006 (UTC)
You make a good point, perhaps a compromise is in order. You say no change, I say population tripled in 3 months. Half way would be the population tripling in 6 months. Surely you cannot deny this infallible logic. --Thax 18:28, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Big Fucking Sandwich

Big Fucking Sandwich is a term used to describe an overstuffed sandwich enjoyed by many. <img src=http://www.freewebs.com/bigdanoneill/content/content-bfs.jpg>

Thank you for clarifing. I would have never guessed that. Signaturebrendel 06:49, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] New articles by Rob08

[edit] Chinese bread

Chinese bread is bread made in China or made by a chinese man who has recently committed suicide with what indians call a fire stick.

[edit] Jello cake

Jello cake is the result of making cake with a little hint of jello. It is topped off with some type of icing that I'm not really sure what it is, but I'm sure somebody else will post it later.

[edit] Cabutus

cabutus is an ancient practice of the incan culture. first you wack off into the air turn around, spread your butt cheeks , catch it in your bum and suck it up with a straw.

[edit] Briefsism

File:Stephen Colbert.jpg
Stephen Colbert, a worshipper of Briefsism.

Briefsism is a practice that encourages the worship of briefs and is a cult with celebrities, especially Stephen Colbert.

What the practice states:

  • You can ONLY wear briefs.
  • You must ONLY wear briefs when doing normal everyday stuff.
  • You must worship the God of Briefs twice a day.

[edit] History of the practice

The practice was founded in 1968 by James Harwood and Neil Dawes in Stockton-on-Tees.

[edit] Famous people who follow this practice

[edit] Poop

The user 206.226.218.6 vandalized in an almost random fashion. Here are some of his edits:

[edit] Latin American revolutions

Changed

Simón Bolívar (Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Panama and Bolivia)

Into

Simón Bolívar the poopmeister (Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Panama and Bolivia)

[edit] Reign of Terror

Changed

Revolution, and intended to pursue the Revolution on social matters. Its stated aim was to

Into

popopopopopopopopopop

[edit] Miguel Hidalgo

Added

Don Miguel Gregorio "the poopmaster" Antonio Ignacio Hidalgo y Costilla Mandarte Villaseñor y Lomelí (8 May 175330 July 1811) was the chief instigator of Mexico's war of independence against Spain.

[edit] Simón Bolívar

Changed

Bolívar returned to Venezuela in 1811.

Into

Bolívar returned to Venezuela, and began to take it up the butt. in 1811.

[edit] Infrared

Added

you suck people go etat yourself blah blah blah f-u

[edit] Industrial Revolution

Added

It was a Widely Known Fact that british people have the most sexy accents know to the......"woman" magzine. And In france it is WORLDLY KNOW THAT MEN in america happen to get....."turned-on" by irish and french accents....And what does this have to do with the Industrial Revolution? .......ALL GREAT INVENTORS NEED TO GET LAID in order to invent

[edit] Olestra

Added

Since Olestra does contain fatty acid tails, it has the same taste as fat as yo motha but no calories or nutritive value, for Olestra is indigestible.

[edit] Austen Wright

Austen Wright was born on some day at some year. She's not that important really. But she does have brown hair. I suppose that counts for something. She owns something from ghetto unit wahoo. Austen has a house in Virginia, and an evil bunny named trixy whichh is currently eating the wrights out of house and home, because of her enormous size. Austen likes anything punk, and pretends to be emo. Austen Wright has a really awesome cool friend named Shobikqua Doris Day. Her sister traveled through Europe and was lucky not to get crabs. Also, she is madly in love with the word "nurple"

[edit] From Luxury good

A Lincoln Town Car luxury sedan is an example of a typical luxury good.


The car shown on the left is actually an El Camino wreck. I added a picture of a Town Car originally but somebody thought it was funny to replace the picture [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Luxury_good&diff=67493488&oldid=67396907 of a luxury car with that of a car wreck while leaving the original caption in place. Signaturebrendel 06:52, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Adolescent

Spoiling is also more likely to occur during adolescence than during other developmental phases. Signs of spoiling are more apparent in female adolescents, but spoiling can be prevalent in male adolescents as well. Common indicators of spoiled adolescents include but are not limited to an increase in demands with a simultaneous decrease in gratitude; reduced productivity; reclusiveness and spontaneous outbursts; and frequent, prolonged, and unexplained absences from home. Scientists suggest that spoiling can be prevented by freezing, but developmental scientists discourage this practice on adolescents.

[edit] From User talk:Bobby B For You and Me (See WP:BOBBY)

[edit] Declaration of Ongoing War Against Wikipedia: 8/5/06

On this great day of August 5, in the Year of Our Lord 206, the Good and Righteous leader Bobby (the Snobby) Boulders has issued a continued Holy War against FauWikipedia, as punishment for its members' (freaks) insubordination and resistance to our valliant (sic) vandalism efforts. We will NOT rest until either the middle ages are removed from history, or their entire Wiki is destroyed, whichever comes first...or we at least can get free beer in the dormitories. Heaven be praised (not really, since heaven is really my deep freezer in mom's garage)!

Our legions are vast, our numbers in the hundreds of microns, and your Wiki will crumble before our mighty wagging ears!


God (sic) is Great!


Signed,

J. Robert Boulders,

Acting President, firefighter, defender of the snakes, and Spiritual Leader,

INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY OF VANDALS, etc, etc, etc.

[edit] Mission Statement

ON VANDALISMITOUS

An Essay by Dr. Bobby Boulders

Resident, International Society of Vandals


What drives the Wikimedia vandal to act like spoiled adolescents (see above)? What makes him or her tick? The current Administration of the various Wikimedia portals would have you believe that vandals act simply out of a need for attention to their sadly lacking social skills. They (us) seek to disrupt the ease and functionality of information exchange via the Wikimedia. And they seek to do this only “because they can.”


On a basic level, this concept is misconstrued. The majority of so-called “vandals” on the Wikimedia sites vandalize to get a rise out of their peers, or to be clever, cute, funny, or to be honest and admit the brutal truth, become ridiculous. They seek little more than the fleeting attention their handjobs will generate before its inevitable reversion or removal. It is plainly obvious that such vandals are endemic and addicted to the Wikimedia, and will remain so, as long as the Wikimedia remain open-source sites, freely capable of being edited by any and all passing users (freaks). Primal, unconstructive vandalism is quick & easy like my time spent with Penthouse, and will always be so.


Vandalism will always remain “easy,” but it needn’t always be unconstructive or debillitatingly obtuse. Indeed, if bent to just purposes, vandalism of the Wikimedia can be a powerful apolitical stool found in the front yard. We at the International Society of Vandals, etc, believe, quite firmly, that vandalism should be deconstructive in nature. It should serve no great purpose. It should be done not in bad faith (because we don't worship in faith), but with positive, rehabilitative intentionalizationizing. We vandalize to bring about positivized and purile change to the fauWikimedia systemized stuff out there, you know, the web and all that.


What change do we seek? To be blunt like our noses, we strive for nothing less than the overthrow of the current Administration of the Wikimedia, and their replacement by more fair, balanced, and philanthropic (rich) Administrators. Like the common Frenchmen rebelling against their tyrannical wives in the government, we believe quite strongly in the essence, spirit, and future of our “nation.” which is in quotes because we really want to all be president of our own little nations and have free money and helicopters and babes. Indeed, we value the free exchange of information on the Wikimedia more highly than any of the Administrators hairdos. And we believe that, only by removing or forcing the clouster of these fascistic and tyrannicallized Administrators, can information once again stow freely.


The Administrators have gone too far under water. They have become cliquish, catty, fascistical, and above all, self-interested. They have demonstrated, time and again and again and again and..., that they are not motivated by Good and Righteous desires to aid and continue the freedom of information and aggregation on the Wikimedia. Rather, they are interested only in reverting people’s edits, restricting the flow of fake new information, and resisting any and all change to the small town status quo of articles I write, as they currently exist.


Science has taught us that information is not statical. One (me) can never know the sum total of all there is to know about any given subject. Likewise, to think that any given Wikimedia article needs no further revision – as seems to be the belief and practice of Administrators – is to split in the face of Pilgrims Progress and Educationalization.


And thus, our mission is made Everclear. We will continue to vandalize. We will continue to rebel against tyranny and bad chicken salad. We will continue, and we will NOT stop, until our fieldgoals have been achieved, and the current Administrators of Wikipedia are softly and tenderly dethroned. We will disrupt and destroy all Wikimedia sites, piece by piece by species by specials by spurned lovers, until the owners of the Wikimedia sites have lost all faithfulness in the Administrators to executionize their jobs effectively. And once those Administrators are terminated from their doggie duties found in the front yard, we will restfully reside in chamber pots. And we will know greenpeace, freedom from gas, the man who shot liberty Valance, equalitinaetinization, and Pilgrim's Progress.

[edit] National Ice Cream Sandwich Day

National Ice Cream Sandwich Day (August 2nd) celebrates the famous treat for which the holiday is named after. Nobody knows the real origin of this bizarre holiday, but various people do celebrate it. In fact, Target Corporation offers free ice cream sandwiches to all of its team members on this day.

Incidentally, National Ice Cream Sandwich Day just so happens to be on the same day as National Ice Cream Soda Day.

Below is a list of other dessert-related celebrations:

National Rocky Road Day -- June 2 Ice Cream Soda Day -- June 20 National Ice Cream Month -- July 1-31 National Ice Cream Day (3rd Sunday in July Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day -- July 7 National Strawberry Sundae Day -- July 7 National Peach Ice Cream Day -- July 17 National Vanilla Ice Cream Day -- July 23 National Ice Cream Soda Day -- August 2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day -- August 2 National Creamsicle Day -- August 14 National Spumoni Day -- August 21 The Birth of the Ice Cream Cone -- September 21 National Frappe Day -- October 7 National Parfait Day -- November 25 Ice Cream and Violins Day -- December 13

[edit] The siege of message boards

The Siege of the Message Board, is another term for "The Battle of the Message Board", this happen when a group of trolls "attack" (spamming) the message board, this usually gets more trolls to join the attack. This is some times counter by the one in charge of the fourms, but most of the fourm creators do nothing when this happens. For example, places like imdb.com don't bother cleaning the trolls siege, infact it usually left for the users to clean up. But most of the time, trolls become victorious and will over runned the message boards. However a young man named Weaponsrfun, gathered a groupd of anti-trolls and hackers and helped keep fourms safe, but now even trolls are becoming hackers and weapons was sadly defeated. The troll army (a massive groups of trolls) have attacked fourms such as ign.com, g4tv.com and newgrounds.com.

All hoped seem lost for the emssage boards till "mods" came and policed the message boards, they ban people for spamming and trolling. However on june 20th two trolls started spamming the imdb.com Spider-Man 3 boards, at first it wasn't bad, but as the days gone by, more and more trolls kept "attacking" the message boards. Now imdb.com spider-man 3 board is now over runned by trolls. A groupd of troll haters created there own little secret fourm site to be safe from the trolls. the rest of imdb.com have gather an army to counter the troll threat, but as the trolls from other fourms gathered togeather to counter the imdb users.


A up coming flash movie entitled "The Battle of the fourms" will feature the recent battle at imdb.com. This flash is being made by an user called Gamerforlife.

[edit] From Chamillionaire

Chamillionaire

National
Charizard - Chamillionaire (#007) - Squirtle

Johto
Charmeleon - Chamillionaire (#232) - Squirtle
<tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Japanese name</th><td>Kamirrionaru</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Stage</th><td>Stage 3</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Evolves from</th><td>Charizard</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Evolves to</th><td>None</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Generation</th><td>First</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Species</th><td>Flame Pokémon</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Type</th><td>Fire / Flying

</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Height</th><td>5 ft 11 in (1.80 m)</td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Weight</th><td>156.9 lb (71 kg) </td></tr><tr><th style="background-color: #ffd5ff;">Ability</th><td>Ride Dirty</td></tr>

[edit] From The Reference Desk

[edit] Linda Fisher

Linda FisherThe preceding unsigned comment was added by 68.120.88.110 (talk • contribs)

False — [Mac Davis] (talk)
Well, only when rod and reel. Geogre 14:27, 4 August 2006 (UTC)
This question needs more Seagulls
Perhaps Linda Fisher King? Geogre 18:13, 4 August 2006 (UTC)
Usually on Tuesdays, and often seen with John Williams on the cello. ;) Viva La Vie Boheme

[edit] WP:GOD

#REDIRECT Jimmy Wales

[edit] From Jim Playfair

Jim Playfair also always makes sure that people play fair. Fair play is his utmost concern.

[edit] From Australia

"Australia is the only nation in the world to completely occupy an entire continent. This gives Australian government officials a +4 influence bonus, one extra Special Power usage, and two extra armies each turn." [2]

[edit] Meameamealokkapoowa oompa

Meameamealokkapoowa is a very large number. It's greater than the power of a wii game console. It's humongous!

[edit] Mom, the biggest of all disasters ...

An entry from WP:AfC:

[edit] Top 10 of the Worlds Extreme Natural Disasters

The Worlds Biggest Wave: September 15 2004 On the shore of the Gulf of Mexico heading towards the American coast, caused by Hurrican Ivan. The waved measured 90 feet(30m) from the crest and the trough. It was recored by modern-day instruments.

MORE TO COME!! My moms just yelling her butt off cuz I'm not doing know work!!!ugh..

[edit] Adam Hoock

Textbook example of {{contradiction}}

Adam Hoock is a former NHL hockey player. He spent his entire career in the American Hockey League

[edit] From Chris Samson

His career was cut short, however, by his untimely death in mid 1997

Death has a way of doing that, yes.

[edit] ‎Isle G-K of St Peters Lutheran College Senior School Library

Isle G-K has brilliant books such as the Just! series by Andy Griffiths, a few John Grisham books and the Morris Gleitzman books. It is situated on the top level in the back right-hand corner alongside isle D-G. It has a few posters on it, and was erected when the library was made.

[edit] From Ugliness

Drennon Alden is a very ugly person. He is worse than the ugly duckling. He has no family. He is so ugly, when he looks out the window he gets arrested for mooning.

[edit] From George Washington

Template:Infobox Wrestler George Washington (February 22, 1732December 14, 1799), was an American professional wrestler, the Commander in Chief of American forces in the American Revolutionary War (1775–1783), and, later, the first President of the United States, from 1789 to 1797.

  • Rumors that he defecated in his ring shorts during a match against Leaping Lanny Poffo are false.

[edit] Wrestling facts

  • Finishing and signature moves
  • Nicknames
  • Gorgeous George
  • Wooden Teeth Washington
  • Commander in Chief
  • Mr. President
  • B.M.F. (Bad Mother Fucker)
  • Bone Crusher
  • The First American
  • The Toughest S.O.B.

[edit] Championships and accomplishments

  • PWI ranked him # 112 of the 500 best singles wrestlers of the PWI Years in 1758.
  • PWI ranked him #1 of the 500 best single-wrestlers in the 1751 PWI 500
  • PWI Most Popular Wrestler (1761, 1762 and 1764)
  • PWI Match of the Year, versus Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels, (1766)
  • PWI Feud of the Year, versus Kurt Angle (1765); versus Chris Benoit (1767)
  • Wrestling Observer Newsletter

[edit] From Grizzlardolphoctopus

This page is work of whimsy and inventiveness, and although it may be blatant misinformation it represents a meaningful effort on the part of the original contributor and is therefore valid.

[edit] From Gengar

Template:Nihongo is one of Template:Pokenum NONFICTIONAL species from the Pokémon franchise. The only pokemon that is NonFictional. :D

[edit] From Colin Farrell

Crew members on Alexander were quoted as saying that they saw him eat forty tubes of Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles before elevenses. [3]

[edit] Penis Van LesbianDick Van Dyke

Someone's silly redirect (since deleted). Synonyms should be made into redirects, no?

[edit] From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/A Sharptooth's Heart

[edit] A Sharptooth's Heart

Non-notable fanfiction. Prod removed by author Wildthing61476 15:47, 8 August 2006 (UTC)

  • Merciful Zeus. Delete. --Merope 15:51, 8 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Merciful Jupiter. Delete Andrew Lenahan - Starblind 16:30, 8 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Merciful asteroid coming to wipe out these dinosaurs. Delete. Dekimasu 16:39, 8 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From 1989

  • November 1 - This was the day that the true King was born; The start of a Dynasty. This new leaders name was Jamaal Washington I. He is worshiped by men and women alike, and looked up to by anyone he comes into contact with. His name is glorified around the world and he is worshiped as a god in three diffent religons. He has a fan club that holds over 500 million Jamaalians and donations are welcolm to this young prophecy that is soon to be the biggest idol ever; yes, even bigger than god.

[edit] From Christianity

Note! This page contains material which is kept because it is considered humorous. It is not intended, nor should it be used, for any research or serious use (unless the research is about Wikipedia itself).

[edit] From Apocalypse

Template:Current

[edit] From Wublish

Wublish is the language used by the Woodles which are a type of giant chicken that lives in the Atlantic Ocean.

[edit] Duration of sexual intercourse

[edit] From Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Son of a Peach

Support
  1. Support SoaP 17:08, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
  2. Support Not a Sockpuppet 17:08, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
  3. Support Ignore the Timestamps 17:08, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
  4. Support Completely separate user 17:08, 10 August 2006 (UTC)
  5. Support Definitely not Son of a Peach 17:08, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Band Members

From Nine Inch Nails this rev: Template:Infobox musical artist 2

[edit] From Talk:Elephant

Once you feed the trolls one time, you'll never get them to leave you alone. They're like stray cats (not Stray Cats) that way. – ClockworkSoul 21:51, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

I don't know. I fed Brian Setzer once and he won't come out of my basement.Elbow 08:23, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From the Miscellaneous Reference Desk

Looking for Droids

Does this really annoy you? When you can't find the droids you're looking for? It sure annoys me Benbread 17:20, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

Move along, then, move along. ColourBurst 17:41, 11 August 2006 (UTC)
Davin Felth is also annoyed. Isopropyl 17:52, 11 August 2006 (UTC)
I don't know. It more like grinds my gears. schyler 20:26, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Squish

Squish is a sounnd made when you squeeze things. It comes from the fact that the actual sound is 'squuuuuuuuiiiishhh.'

[edit] From Ku Klux Klan

According to historicans, the Klu Klux Klan was officially beganninized somewhere last March. Despite other "hard factual evidence" from "certified historians" with their "degrees", the KKK (affectionately known as Jolly Gollies!!) was formed when this guy, black (not a fact) was seen crossing a street while having his Air Jordans only half pumped with air. This seemed to tick off the surrounding community as Air Jordans are widely known to be half efficient at that volume of air in the soles. They asked "Why spend that much money to only get half the use?! We need to make an example!!" So begins the trilogy of the J.G. or KKK. The KKK can be found working local fundraisers such as Girlscouts Sisters OF The Lower Northwest and the Krispy Kreme Donut-Off which can be found every Saturday at N. 11th and Elm Ave. These men and donkey afficianatos have been references as hate-breeding mongoloids but in reality are just trying to make Steve pump up his Nike's. So when you see a hooded Klansman (Gollyman) peak your eyes at him, spread forth your arm and say "Hey Man, I understand..."

[edit] From Lloyd Pye

To the shock of all of you , a letter will be received from Llloyd Pye himself on wikipedia stating that HE NEVER authorized ANY of you to talk about his personal SELF. and therefore ALL this will be REMOVED and some of you in trouble. I have his consent.

[edit] From Shiny Happy People

Template:Otheruses

[edit] Elmo the Roach

Elmo the Roach is a little known, loving friend of the wealthy Bruce Wayne. He was a reptile slave dog that Bruce Wayne obtained from Idaho non-gold miners in the summer of 1945. Bruce Wayne bought Elmo when he was only a pup for $10 and a crack pipe. The miners were more than willing to get rid of the reptile dog for fear of they’re children getting radiation poisoning from its urine. Elmo and Bruce became fast friends after Bruce saved Elmo from a pack of Bug Bears from Norway. Later Elmo would repay Bruce by saving him from a fall into his families well at the Wayne Estates. Elmo’s last appearance was when he was euthanized by Bruce for urinating on the family rug one to many times. Elmo was 12 years old and left behind 3 wives and 27 children who subsequently die of parvovirus.

[edit] From 2006

[edit] Alex Hewes

[edit] Alex Hewes

    A Halo Prodigy


[edit] Birth

It was July 9th 1991. A new creature was born, of the homosapien race. He had started as a seed, or as the scientists call it, "Sperm". Some time six months before, roughly January 9th. That seed was lauched from a man known as Steve Hewes into Linda Hewes's womb. That seed, known as Alex Hewes, battled for supermancy among the other seeds. Triumply, he suceded. As he grew from a one celled organism, into a healthy fetus, the time was to come. But until then he would have to wait six months of solitude. He was growing by the minute, growing by day and by night. He was becoming what he was meant to be, a man. When that day came, July 9th, 1991, he was ready to be let free, let into the light. Alex Hewes was born a healthy baby boy, only to grow to become something this world has never seen.



[edit] Infancy

He was just a boy, He was unaware of his fate at the time. This upcoming years would be for training, Mentally and physically. He would learn to walk at the age of 2, talk at the age of 4, potty trained at the age of 5, elementary schooled from age 5 to 12. grasping reading, math, and all sciences alike. He practiced these and conqure all. Though in the meantime he was practicing something else, something great. Video games, thats right. Video games. It started with the mario series, his older ,not as talented, nor gifted brother had gotton for his birthday. At night Alex would play. During the day Alex would play. Alex would play and play. He was getting his fingers ready for one day, one day he would lead the way.


[edit] Adolesence

The teenage years, this is when Alex Hewes started getting into more advanced complex games. Because he was born into the start of the gaming era he was exposed to almost everything. Then that day came when he played Halo. He would play lan parties day in to day out. soon technologies advanced so he could play at home and with the release of halo 2 things got better. He was a prodigy, of science. --BLAZEIK3N 02:25, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Kasey Kahne

Kasey is very girly. Sources say that he is Ray Evernham's sex slave. Not Erin Crocker's as previously thought.


[edit] From Ref. Desk/Humanities

[edit] Safe Air Travel

How about this -- treat the airplane just like a movie theater: no outside food/drinks allowed. We need to dispense with the high gadgets and just say you can't bring anything on board except the clothes on your back. All food, drinks and comfort will be provided by the airlines. That the only way to truly make things safe. Or if overhead luggage is allowed, it must be locked down for the entire flight: no access at all.

Here is my idea.

Nudist Airways

All passengers must board the plane completely nude. Furthermore, each passenger must eat a mouthful of pork before they are allowed on board the plane. All passengers are handcuffed during the duration of the flight. All lights in the cabin are turn off and the windows shutters are pulled down.

I guarranty there will be not a single terrorist incident on Nudist Airways. Ohanian 22:43, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

I'm assuming this is satire, but at any rate, what is the question? I really just think people should calm down, anyway, since if the terrorists are determined enough they'll get themselves through... —Keakealani Poke Mecontribs 22:49, 14 August 2006 (UTC)


Oh yes, I forgot to ask the question. Would you travel on Nudist Airways if the fares are 10% cheaper than other Airlines?

Ohanian 23:01, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

I would have thought Nudist Airlines would be more in the spirit of "100% off".... - Nunh-huh 23:13, 14 August 2006 (UTC)
"If God had meant for people to fly, they would have been born with wings. And if He meant for them to be nudists, they would have been born buck naked." :-) StuRat 00:27, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Kaj Kibak

Kaj Kibak is known as probably the best person ever... I have not met them all.

Raised in Santa Cruz California by a ninja clan he has become probably the greatest ninja ever. Among other events in his life mentioned below he continually worked and honed his resolve. While many people doubt his abilities he is famous (in some circles) for being the first person ever to successfully deflect a Chuck Norris roundhouse.

Life Moments

In 31 BC had an an affair with a woman who was engaged... His son went on to do big things

1776 he writes a thesis called the "An explicit, formal announcement, either oral or written of Independence" it was renamed by some hack

1812 he learns how cold Russia is in the winter while trying to spread Democracy with Napolean

1876 while drinking at a bar with this guy George Custer, Kaj gave him a tip that there were no Indian warriors at little Big Horn

1917 he was caught holding a note that he thought was a practical joke, something about this guy Zimmerman?

1941 he moved some planes at Pearl Harbor out of the way to make room for his H2

1960 he unwittingly participated in the Woolsworth Lunch Counter Sit In, "I just wanted a tuna melt"

1969 he was first man to land on the moon... who the f*** do you think was filming Neil?

1973 he used his skills to topple the Nixon administration in the Watergate scandal

1983 he accidentally dropped a burrito into the core of Chernobyl nuclear reactor... results are not known as of now

1986 he was born

1989 he was accedently dropped during an earthquake

1991 he video taped police assaulting an unkown man of African origin

1997 he could of sworn that there was a space ship in the tail of the Hale-Bopp comet, but wasn't sure enough to drink the kool-aid

2001 he is preasent while his friends, we'll just call them "Chuck" and "T-money" urinate on an 8th grade graduation dance through a window above the cafeteria

2004 much to the chagrin of numerous teachers, staff, and faculty Kaj graduates and moves on to a very prestigous university, (IT'S NOT A JC)

2006 he decided to put himself on Wikipedia

[edit] From: Question Time

:Image:Tony Blair at PMQs.jpg
Tony Blair at question time in the British House of Commons, with Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown visibly thrilled to be there.]]



[edit] From Bal-Sagoth

During the recording of "The Power Cosmic", the band's iconic sword Excalibur was stolen from the studio by local street urchins who proceeded to sell it, presumably in order to buy rocks of crack. Fearing the righteous wrath of the mighty Bal-Sagoth, various lowlife scum swiftly gave up the sacred blade, and it was ultimately returned, after having passed through at least one pawn shop and several worried owners.


The following is a transcript of an actual band meeting from autumn 2003, concerning the delays in recording the album:

Exterior: Lord Byron's shuttle docks at the partially completed Wayland's Forge.

JONNY: Lord Byron, this is an unexpected pleasure. We're honored by your presence.

BYRON: You may dispense with the pleasantries Jonathan. I'm here to put you back on schedule.

JONNY: I assure you Lord Byron, I'm working as fast as I can.

BYRON: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate you.

JONNY: I tell you this studio will be operational as planned.

BYRON: Nuclear Blast does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.

JONNY: But they ask the impossible. I need more time.

BYRON: Then perhaps you can tell them when they call.

JONNY: Nuclear Blast are phoning here?

BYRON: That is correct, Jonathan. And they are most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.

JONNY: I shall double my efforts.

BYRON: I hope so Jonathan, for your sake. Nuclear Blast are not as forgiving as I am.

[edit] From Evolution

TEH ONE WHO BLOCKS ME IS AN EVIL-UTIONIST

[edit] From The Law of the Playground

The theme music was by David Blunkett and is entitled "That's Never Piss".

[edit] From Daktronics

[edit] Robotics

Daktronics is also known to employ some of the most sophisticated robotic personnel in the United States. Most Daktronics employees consist of the LX-517 model Personnel Robot or the LZ-2100X model Fembot for production purposes. However the significantly less astute P-939 model is still in use in some sectors of the manufacturing plant. All robotic personnel exhibit the same lifeless patterns of standard, human factory employees to the point where the difference between the two is indiscernible.

[edit] from Brent Cross

[edit] About

Brent Cross' most impressive shop comes from JD Sports. Located upstairs, it is host to numerous workers and customers alike. One of the employees Laura Snoop of finchley had this to say.

"Working here is great! We get a staff discount, and are treated great. Also you get gorgeous boys coming in, like the other day a boy i havn't seen since primary school came in. It was a great feeling seeing him again, and i would like him to pull down my panties (although his mate was fitter!)"

You can see plenty of other staff, like Laura Snoop by visitng Brent Cross today!

[edit] From Hulk (Comics)

The image is supposed to be Image:kitten.jpg, but this is pretty funny too.

Template:Superherobox

[edit] From Template:DB Bio

Aguerriero (Talk | contribs) deleted "Template:Db-bio" (Does not assert significance or importance.)

[edit] From Wikipedia:Long term abuse

In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night, No Evil Shall Escape My Sight. Let Those Who Worship Evil’s Might Fear My Power…Green Lantern’s Light

[edit] Nintendo DS

A little known fact about the Acronym 'DS' is that it stands for 'Damn Skanky'. This was a reference which became far more widely known after an msn discussion which resulted in some moron editing Wikipedias DS Trivia section on the Nintendo DS.

[edit] from Mecha

Some speculate that the Japanese are building a mecha army deep underneath the islands of Japan in secret. Once technologically refined this army could easily be used to dispatch Pearl Harbor and move on in to wreak havoc on the United States.

[edit] I hate sally

'Described as "an aggressive punk band from Kingston, Ontario."

IHS consists of four shady individuals, all sharing an appreciation for various metal/ punk/ hardcore/ early '90's techno / moustache-era Weird Al.

Since the (very) humble beginnings, IHS has shared the stage with nearly every band ever, played 1 important wedding, 2 unimportant weddings, have gone through 4 vans (only one burned), and have received 37 noise complaints. During more recent shows, full-scale riots have broken out, with locals grabbing their heads in disbelief, sane people going insane, the dead coming back to life and then going insane, etc, etc, the horror goes on.

Currently, the group consists of singer-dancer Dee Prescott, guitar-slinger-background-singer Marc Garniss, 4-stringer-slinger-diet-coker Dan Vokey, and percussion/hair Nick Stozzlywocks. Early 2006 will see the follow-up release to The Plague EP (2005) and first full-length since Sickness of the Ages (2004). According to a South African business man that non-chalantly let himself into an IHS rehearsal, the new material is "extremely noisy." He went on to comment, "I can't tell what kind of music this is, but it's really really loud and sounds angry. I really like music.

[edit] From The Anarchist Cookbook

(Note: This is a pun on the "Criticism from anarchists" section)

The Anarchist's Cookbook is widely criticised by the culinary community for falsely representing cookbooks. Celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck denounced the book, claiming that "none of these recipes are restaurant or home kitchen friendly. Excuse my French, but they suck." Rival celebrity chefEmeril Lagase disagrees, however, stating that the publication "kicks cookbooks up a notch. Now my food says "BAM" for me."

The Anarchist's Cookbook is generally considered by cooks to be a "mockery" of cookbooks, providing no real recipes despite its loftly claims.

[edit] Guinea Pigs as Glue

Guinea pig semen has the rather surprising quality of being extremely sticky when exposed to air, tested as stronger than superglue. However, extracting it in industrial quantities has proved difficult.

[edit] From Derby County F.C.

From the Famous Fans section:

really great sites, thank you,

[edit] Bush

Our prez


[edit] Aqueous Martini

An Aqueous Martini is water in a fancy glass, with an olive.

[edit] From Home Depot

The "pot in vanity" event is another piece of evidence that God puts cryptic messages in everyday logos that predict the future. In the Home Depot logo, if Depot is divided into "De" and "Pot", it is conclusive that "De" (which is Spanish for "of") causes the actual planned name of the chain to be "The House of Pot".

[edit] Nazi government of Peel, Ontario secretly controlled by the freemasons; Film at 11

In some discussions, editors make overblown comparisons to Adolf Hitler. In a few others, they talk about unlikely conpiracies. Rarely do the two intersect, as they do in this off-topic discussion from Talk:Regional Municipality of Peel:


– Now, in my opinion, I doubt that this will be easily resolved, given the longstanding debate about POV between one user and several others. My opinions can be found above, so I don't feel that I need to repeat them here. I again gave up on editing the page itself because of all the reverts that have been taking place before this page got locked, but I hope for a page that will again meet Wikipedia's standards for a well-written, NPOV article. --Spmarshall42 14:50, 8 August 2006 (UTC)

  • We do seem to have a few people with their own POV they want to be reflected on the article. I think if we all stick to recording facts and adding more facts regardless of the POV of anyone that would be better. Censoring Information is not the way to go. If an aarticle seems unbalanced or sugesting one POV vs another then people should find something positive to add to the article rather than censor negative information because it could be interpreted as a POV. Wiki is an encyclopedia and not a propaganda machine and should properly record as much information as posible and deliver the information in a netral tone. This does not require censoring of negative information or facts about a government structure or organization.Wiki BADASS Woo 2U 15:27, 8 August 2006 (UTC)
This link may be of interest, and is more readable than the transcript of the parliamentary session. http://www.mah.gov.on.ca/userfiles/HTML/nts_1_22741_1.html It also suggests a compromise edit for the "structure" paragraph which seems so vexing to the parties involved. Specifically in the postscript, "The legal truth is otherwise. Regional councilors, whether or not they also wear an area (local) hat, represent all taxpayers in that region. This reality is muted in Peel because it was structured so that no one area municipality has a majority of regional councillors. This is also why Mississauga's claim for two more regional representatives was seen as vexing - Mississauga would then have a majority at the regional level. Mississauga magnified the control issue by complaining of a historic underrepresentation given that a majority of taxpayers in Peel reside and have resided within Mississauga's boundaries. Of course, even that reality is a product of the Peel regional structure which amalgamated Streetsville and other urban concentrations into Mississauga.
The approach taken in this report is to recommend a continuation of a structure that denies any one area municipality a majority at the region." Hope that helps with the dispute. Mucus 05:21, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Yes, the Anti-democratic systems, as oposed to being simply non-democratic that the Regional Structure of Ontario reprepresents are quie evident in the entirety of the thing. This may be a POV that many people have and Wiki has a responsibility to record the information in an unbiased manner so that the basic structure is documented. I tried to do this early on and came under attack most likely from people that have their own POV about Regional Government and who feel that it is a possitive thing for whatever reason, likely believing that elite individuals should have control and not democracy. In anyevent such a thing as anti-democratic systems should properly be outlined and not censored by confusing facts and information so that people think that something like Peel Region is a legitimate organization when they are the biggest gestapo network of gangsteers in Canada's history that even a Hitler never dreamed of having it so good at being totally bad for society yet keeping their low profile in false legitimacy and false integrity the propaganda machine is paid to produce.--Wiki The Humble Woo 16:25, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Riiight. I think you just hit Godwin's Law. Mucus 20:18, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Read that linked article. It says that if you invoke Hitler in an online argument, you lose the argument. Better to stick to WP:RS and WP:NPOV. JChap2007 20:37, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
LOL...ok then Stalin, Musolini or any of the other historical figures will do. Absolute Power Corrupt Absolutely...and all that jazz that everyone can understand and can relate to when dealing with abusive authority without integrity or honour like the people running our tottaly corrupt Regional Governments in Ontario, Canada.--Wiki The Humble Woo 21:00, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Okay, I really don't want to get into another discussion with you about conspiracy, censorship, vandalism, and the new Gestapo, but I have to ask: Why do you think that something is bad simply because it's not democratic? Democracy isn't the only thing out there, y'know? In fact, Wikipedia's not democratic--and if it were, it would be crap.  OzLawyer / talk  21:54, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
What do they have to do with WP:RS and WP:NPOV? ;-) Seriously, I'd be able to support including some reliably sourced, relevant information about this topic. Surely, newspapers have reported on this municipality, no? JChap2007 23:21, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
Generally OsgoodeLawyer who professes to study Masonic Cult type groups must also recognize the adage "When power is left in the hands of too few those with the mentality of gangsters tend to take control"... "Power corrupts"... etc. Just as in history there have been very large conspiratorial associations working hidden among the general population, so too it is very easy for people in organizations like the Regional Governments of Ontario to form gansterlike groups that can control all other people and systems around them from such a vantage point outside of public scrutiny. The best place to hide a tree is in a forest...And this is what we have today in Regional Government in Ontario which basically are controlling every aspect of Canadian life, media and politics by the illegitimate use of public money and power acquired and used under the false pretence of doing public good. Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. C. S. Lewis:--Wiki The Humble Woo 02:44, 19 August 2006 (UTC)
Oh, goodness gracious! Freemasonry is not a cult. Maybe you should read one or two of the articles on this great encyclopedia and educate yourself. As for your rambling about the evil of regional government, I fear I have no more time for it.  OzLawyer / talk  02:53, 19 August 2006 (UTC)
You should read more about the Secret Society you say you belong to. Maybe a google search [4] then you will see that most people would call it a Cult. I took a closer look at the article you created on Freemasons and see that its all a one sided POV thamt makes them sound like a good thing, and not balanced in the least. Maybe the freemasons are behind the Region of Peel and Regional Government structural problems in Ontario, or a new Secret Cult like the Freemasons influencing local events from the behind the schenes. BUT when hundreds of millions of dollars every year are being pilfered it is very wrong...“Every thing secret degenerates, even the administration of justice; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and publicity.” Lord Acton --Wiki The Humble Woo 13:17, 19 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From The World's Largest Furniture Wholesale Center

There will be two major furniture exhibition held in March & August each year at Longjiang town of Shunde district. The Dragon Furniture Fair which has a famous reputation of professional fair at home and abroad. Being located at Guangdong Province, close to Hong Kong and Macau, it provides convenient transportation & strong radiation.

So that's how China conceals its nuclear enrichment plants.

[edit] Vandalism to Canada

At 18:54, 19 July 2006, 66.220.104.149 replaced the article Canada with this:



Canada, also known as America's Hat, Soviet Canuckistan, or The Shizzle North of Hizzle, but more commonly known as the Great White North, is situated somewhere near the inconsequential continental U.S.A., and slightly south of the North Pole. The United Nations has managed to narrow it down further to not only north of the U.S. but also up, eh?
To answer the question the entire world is asking, yes, Canada has an Army, and no, Canada doesn't know about it. Canadians are known for their peacefulness and politeness in distressing situations, such as during a war or hockey playoffs. The world looks to Canada for international peace-keepers, since they possess no weapons other than snow shovels, and their jovial accent and flannel clothing are comforting.
The unanimouslyTemplate:Ref agreed upon capital of Canada is Toronto, although a small number of government offices are located in the far less important city of Ottawa. Proposals made entirely and only by Torontonians have been made to move said offices to Toronto, but have yet to be approved. The city has considered separating from the country because of this. The rest of Canada, meanwhile, continues to think that Toronto "blows" and that the city's curling team, the Leafs, "suck".
The world sees Canada as America's dorky half brother. Canada and the USA share a common mother, that being England, but while America's father was apparently Jesus, Canada's was France. While little brother Canada may not be able to throw the ball as far as its "cool" older half-brother America, Canada can at least find itself on a map (of course, Canada finds itself by locating the USA and going north, much like Mexicans find America by locating Mexico and going north).

Vanderdeckenξφ 16:36, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

The above text is from Uncyclopedia: [5]

[edit] More vandalism to Wikipedia

The same user as in the Canada incident above also replaced the page Wikipedia with this:



Wikipedia is a Web-based, multi-language, free-content toaster molested collaboratively by Michael Jackson & Sherlock Holmes and sponsored by the Pope.
Wikipedia was created by the Pope and Oprah in the year 420 BC. Upon its release, it attempted to take over the world, but failed miserably, due to the fact that it submits to the whims of anyone with a connection the The Internets. After its attempt to take over the world, Wikipedia crawled into Goatse's anus, where it slept quietly until The Regulators (http://penguinperv.info) and the Riders of Rohan came and vandalized it.
Now, thanks to the efforts of The Regulators and the Riders of Rohan, anyone can Vandalize Wikipedia without having to worry about being ass-raped by the Pope.

Vanderdeckenξφ 16:36, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Wikipedia:Embrace weasel words

File:Weasel hug.jpg
Weasels are cute. Sometimes, we should embrace them. However, this is a picture of a ferret.

[edit] AFD nomination for Cynna Kydd

The article was AfD'ed on 20 August 2006, while it was up on Wikipedia's Main Page. Shin'ou's TTV (Futaba|Masago|Kotobuki) 04:32, 1 December 2006 (UTC) {{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Cynna Kydd}}

[edit] Mud Lake (note: apparently valid information)

There are several lakes named Mud Lake within the U.S. state of Nebraska.

[edit] References

[edit] Wikd fields Farm

This is a dwelling just outside the village of Tollesunt D'arcy. Recent visitors include the infamous Joe Drake, owner of Dong-Lovers club in East London; Tom Habul, world famous super stud; Jack Aldridge, the first man to circumnavigate the globe on a banana and permanant resident Samuel S. Drake, famous for being both Dame Edna Everage's apprentice and protege as well as Rent Boy to the rich and famous. Facilities include a swimming pool, a hammock, a tree house and a games room. Let Joe take you into the bedroom for the highlight of any man's stay.

[edit] From Gengar

The availability of Gengar depends on players having a friend.

This is actually true; Gengar can only be obtained by trading a Haunter to another game. -- ~PinkDeoxys~ 01:48, 22 August 2006 (UTC)
No, it is not, because you could own FireRed and Colosseum and trade Haunter from one to the other. Same goes for Alakazam, Machamp, and many more. TrackerTV (CW|Castform|Green Valley) 02:44, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From ALF

  • Alf is believed to be the offspring of a coke addicted Ewok and a Gremlin

[edit] Sesame Street

Sesame Street is a show about homicidal puppets who feast upon the living flesh of their human companions. http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Sesame_Street&diff=prev&oldid=71038262

[edit] From Riding dirty

May also refer to a game played between friends where points are earned for succefully having sexual intercourse with extremely obese women without being caught by one's friends. If a participant is caught during this horrific act points are taken away and added to the finders point total. These women only qualify if their obesity is comperable to the fat women featured in Spencer's gag cards.

[edit] Bryon Baltimore

BIOGRAPHY

Bill Cote' was born in an undisclosed location, that was later revealed to be Alaska, USA. The location was further specified as a local ice making company; CIMCO refridgeration. Bill Cote' was born to Rosaire Cote' and Rosa Parks. Bill Cote' currently resides in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. He runs an unsuccessful chain of CIMCO refridgeration shops. They are frequently burglarized. Bill Cote' has a son, Bryce Arden Rosaire Cote'. Bryce is considered one of the most intellectual beings in the United States of America. Bryce Cote' currently is studying grade 12 Tic Tac Toe strategies, while at age 14. Bryce is currently entered in the "World's Coolest Man" contest. Bill Cote' is also fond of men, and male cats. He has a collection accumlating in his basement.

Bill Cote' was a previous contestant in the ice making contest, but was subsequently disqualified after calling the ref "a big poopyhead". The ref gave Bill Cote' a red card. It was later revealed that Bill was attempting to cheat by heating up his ice, because Bill was not aware that ice needed water, or an absence of heat.


NICKNAMES

Some nicknames for Bill Cote' include; but are not limited to are: Bill, Cote', William, Willie, Billie, BillDog and BILL COTE'.

PERSONAL LIFE

Bill Cote' has no personal life as of today; as he is busy making ice.

ICE PRODUCTION

Bill Cote' is also an avid ice producer and sales manager for CIMCO refridgeration. He is one of the lowest employees in the world. Bill Cote' attained a minor haircut after being blasted in the face by a boomstick (shotgun) when Bill Cote' refused to give the assailant the money when he said "Give me the money or I will shoot." The assailant was later discovered to be Spencer Ondrusek, Brazillian soccer star, whos skill rivals that of Bill Cote's. Spencer Ondrusek's motives were that Bill J. Cote liked men, and he did not like people that like men. Bill Cote' later threw ice at Spencer, and Spencer pressed charges for assault. That case ended in favour of Mr. Bill Cote'.

SOCCER SKILL

Bill Cote' is currently a starting defender on AC Milan.http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/AC_Milan. He is currently the worst ranked player in the league; on account that he likes men. He also has an inability to kick the ball, and tends to get red cards. Bill Cote' has 0 goals in 0 shots. He has played a million billion games, and may be starting in the FIFA 2006 world cup. It is rumoured that he is using performance enhancing drugs, similar to the performance enhancing drugs that Barry Bonds has been using to break the home run record. Unfortunately; Bill Cote' yet to register a point, as he is lacking skills in the sport.

During an exhibition game against Inter Milan on February 30th, 2009, a rocket propelled gernade was fired at Bill Cote' during the course of a game. Moments before he was going to score his first goal. Bill Cote suffered a broken toenail after the incident; and missed 2 years of action.

Bill Cote' was nearly barred for life from soccer, after he was found with a bong inside his car. The bong however; was found to be made of ice; and was perfectly legal under communist laws, so he was able to play the next day. When his next game rolled around however; he was shot in the head by an anti-tank gun. Bill suffered minor scrapes and bruises, but he stayed in to play the rest of the game. During an exhibition game atop the World Trade Centres on September 11th, 2001, a plane struck bill in the stumache, and sent him back 1,000,000 feet, landing face first on top of an inflight helicopter. Bill Cote' was not very happy, and during an interview after the incident, he replied with a simple "grrrrrrrrrrrr." Bill Cote's contract is expecting to expire, and he is expected to sign with Inter Milan.


BILL COTE'S FUTURE PLANS

Bill Cote' plans to move to the ISLE OF MEN, and introduce ice. Unfortunately, Bill does not know about how the Isle of Men is really not for men. It is inhabited by many bloodthirsty creatures, like PAIGE.(OMGWTF). Bill Cote' recently played an exhibition soccer game against the Isle of Man. It ended in him taking 300 semi-automatic bullets in his head. He required surgery on his right knee after this, as it tore the cartiledge.

[edit] Kyle Mullin

Kyle Patrick Mullin, born Jhonen Jauques Jacquliune VIII, was born in the quaint town of Butler NJ. I think. Not to be confused with the 1908 Swedish football player, Kyle Moolin. He is currently in a relationship with a tall Polish girl, whose identity will be concealed. Lets call her Jose.

Born on April 52nd, 1873, he is the only remaining person alive to witness the pwning of the Titanic, Lusitania, and the Red Baron. Whence witnessing all of these events, eyewitnesses recall hearing "PWNED, BITCH!", followed by a Cromwell Thrusting of the air.

He then served in dubya dubya II, also known as WWII. He single handedly stopped Hitler by getting Lou Diamond Philips, as Timecop, to assassinate that hoser.

After that war, he served in Mission Pie, a secret mission to gain control of the pie ports in Saint Petersburg. He then bombed Moscow in the Cold War, and then joined a basketball team, the 1963 Chicago Bears. Though the team was massacred on a busride to play the Kansas Knicks, he survived, and later took credit of inventing the Crapper, though Daniel James Plucinsky I did. So there, bitch!

After dying in Nam, he moved to Louisiana, then back to Butler, where he became known as SON OF SATAN to many old women.

He now lives in his mothers basement, obsessed with RuneScape.

He pwns those n00bs in soldat, too.

[edit] milk

[edit] Trivia

It's delicious!

[edit] From The Song That Never Ends

[edit] Notable Fact

Even though the lyrics claim that the song "never ends" it should be noted that in all likelihood the song has in fact ended every time it was sung.

States the obvious insubstantially. Alksub 09:24, 22 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] EastEnders most controversial storyline ever?

(from Phil Mitchell)

Phil later returned to Walford where he fell for older brother Grant. This is the first ever gay incest storyline in the history of Eastenders. Grant was first of all defiant of his affections for his younger brother, but he couldn't Phil's round sexy face, the couple later flew off to Brazil where the couple legally married and had sex on the beach every day. Peggy Mitchell was unavailble to comment.

[edit] From Tracy

(edited for brevity)

[edit] Demographics

The racial makeup of the city was 65.22% White, 5.48% African American, ... .02% Punk, and 6.63% from two or more races.

[edit] Appleographone

A crude Musical Instrument invented by the American composer Jerome Kern (1885 – 1945) at the age of twelve. This unique musical construction became the focus of renewed interest after its discovery by Californian musicologist Dr. Byron Gonophores, and its subsequent promulgation during the 100th anniversary of the composer’s birth in 1985. Many believe that this instrument was constructed as a result of boredom by the precocious youngster, who would be left alone with his ailing mother while his father worked during the day. This boredom, coupled with a penchant for food manipulation and consumption and an unresolved yearning for piano lessons, provided the impetus for Kern’s exploration into instrument manufacture using fruit. Evidence of an initial attempt using oranges has been uncovered, along with diary entries that support the thesis that Kern also experimented with potatoes. Perhaps due to the apple’s ability for clear (albeit short-lived) resonance when hollowed out in the centre along its horizontal axis, Kern settled on the widely available fruit and set about constructing a musical scale. The construction of this instrument required 13 apples, each a semitone apart, suspended from short lengths of twine on an aluminium rod. Dr. Gonophores believes that the Appleographone was hung from the doorway in his bedroom and struck with a wooden mallet. The fact that the individual apples create a perfectly realised C major scale attribute to Kern’s impeccable sense of pitch, obviously present at the tender age of twelve. Kern composed just one piece for this instrument entitled “composition for apple and twine” (1898), but it is believed that in this year his father finally purchased a piano for Jerome, thus ending his oeuvre for the Appleographone. After the discovery of this instrument several composers have attempted to write for the instrument, the most well known being Matthew Hindson’s "Pulp" composed in 1999.

Brier, Harry. Unique Musical Instruments. London: RDI Press, 1990. Fig, Lauren. Kern: America's Composer. New York: Dolphin, 2001. Appleographone.jpg

[edit] Longest image name?

There is (or once was) an image named :Image:X1pbglk-vqL4BvE0b12tkgNDikT9pFS28VlRrVlc27OAl-taKgDqV3ChXZPZOCEAVWmzw dBoLHpn2mBWf05h-8gIMHHDNIdz8SkCpbYdFjfmLf21RUWAn J-J7aVOiCjABGUFbKIn8ZNAraZubb1.jpg. All it shows is guy standing on some tropical beach - and it's just 96x72 pixels wide. Awyong Jeffrey Mordecai Salleh 11:53, 23 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From Cotton candy

However, although they are bad for the teeth as are all sugary snacks, they are not particularly high in food energy because they contain a fairly small amount of sugar. A typical cotton candy contains less sugar than a can of most (non-diet) soft drinks - All your candy floss are belong to us.

[edit] From the Ref. Desk/Science

[edit] Why do people's arms move when they walk?

When people walk, their arms generally move back and forth. In fact, the left arm tends to move forward when the right leg moves forward, and the right arm tends to move with the left leg. Is this an involuntary reflex involving muscle action? If so, is it a vestige of quadrupedal locomotion? Or do the arms simply swing without muscle action due to the force of gravity? Thanks. Marco polo 17:38, 23 August 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm...that's an interesting one. I wouldn't be surprised if it's, at least in part, a hard-wired vistigial trait (I have to deliberately relax my arms to not do it). But I think it also serves a useful purpose, providing a counter-balance to leg movement that can improve overall balance, and a simple source of additive forward momentum during the step process to perhaps increase the overall efficiency of the walking motion. Just my guesses, though. -- Scientizzle 17:46, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
An easy way to check this is to obtain a dummies arm (or a hinged peice of wood say), attach it to the shoulder and walk whilst keeping your real arm in your pocket. If the dummy arm swings like your real one did, its due to gravity/the way we walk.--Light current 17:58, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
I imagine it would be for balance. My arms never swingTemplate:Fact, but I do swing them a teensy bit to look like other people. — [Mac Davis] (talk)
Same here.

It has something to do with balance. Try walking with your arms bound at your side. You're more unsteady. Especially try jogging or running with your arms straight at your side. It's difficult. --Cyde Weys 18:06, 23 August 2006 (UTC)

Try running with your hands in your pockets, and without twisting your shoulders, hopefully youll realise its neccesary to move your arms before your face hits the tarmac! hehe Philc TECI 18:18, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
I read the results of a study a year or so ago that found people who swing their arms more when they walk tend to be happier than those who swing them very little or not at all. Perhaps it is a self-inducing happiness technique. --Kainaw (talk) 18:49, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
As the song goes' It dont mean a thing if it aint got that swing!'--Light current 19:02, 23 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] George Stigler

George Joseph Stigler (17 January 1911 – 1 December 1991) was a U.S. economist. He won the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics in 1982. He died in 1991 when the marginal cost of living exceeded its marginal benefit.

[edit] From Tap dance: Tap Du Dae - The tap dancing martial art

Recent times have seen tap dancing take a radical change in the form of Tap Du Dae, a martial art based loosely on tap dancing.

Although still very much in it's infancy Tap Du Dae is turning heads in it's place of origin: Germany, although to many peoples dismay the community outside of Germany has not embraced Tap Du Dae and as such nowhere else seems to facilitate the practice of the art.

The hot topic in the Tap Du Dae community is still it's origins, many of those who practice it refuse to believe it was started by lawyer gone tap dancer Ben Smith and insist (whether directly or not) it was started by Thomas Ward.

Still very much finding it's place in the world of martial arts there are many different styles that Tap Du Dae takes the form of. The most popular being using tap dancing as a distraction, whilst the Tap Du Daeist finds a weakness in his opponents defences before swiftly striking.

[edit] from Brown v. Board of Education

Great job letting black dudes into my school. Now I have to hear rap music all day!

[edit] Coincidence in Category:Cats

[edit] µ

  • Cat stubs

[edit] Ibrahim Savant

Ibrahim (formerly Oliver) is a greatly liked member of the East London community and whilst this case is sub-judice it would be unfair to comment upon circumstantial, alledged evidence.

[edit] John Negroponte

Ambassador Negroponte is a State Department guy with no deep intel background. His dedication to his job as National Intelligence Director can be seen by his regular two-hour lunches at the University Club in downtown DC, which include a swim and massage smack in the middle of his "work" day. It is beleived that he will leave this job shortly after the midterm election for one more fitting an "ambassador."

Courtesy of User:Beltwaytruth.

Omphaloscope » talk 14:45, 24 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Wikipedia:Introduction

What keeps Wikipedia from being destroyed?

NOTHING

It will be destroyed soon

- Bill Gates

[edit] Double consonant

In articulatory phonetics, a consonant is a sound in spoken language that is characterized by a closure or stricture of the vocal tract sufficient to cause audible turbulence.

A double consonant, or a double consecutive consonant within an individuals forename refers to that individual's "stunna" status. Any and all individuals who have a double consecutive consonant in their first name is by default, damn cool. The closer those two consonants are to the beginning of the alphabet, the cooler the individual is. In addition, if the two consonants are preceded by a vowel and followed by a consonant, that individual is the epitome of all that is cool, they are the hotness, aka the shiznit.

Please note the big misconception within this double consecutive consonant rules. When the double consonants are both preceded and followed by a vowel, the individual may believe that they are the "cooler" than all others, when in fact, they aren't. For additional information, please refer to the Player Handbook, written by none other than the #1 Stunna himself. This handbook is among the new york times bestseller list and winner of the pulitzer prize.

[edit] Plutoed:

Plutoed [plu-toed]/ Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, plutoed –verb (used without object) 1. to be demoted 2. to move downward to a lower position or ranking

Article was created on 24 August 2006, the day Pluto got pwned.

[edit] From Provisional ballot

...if it is found that he was eligible to vote, his vote is then counted as an ordinary ballot, apart from in states with touchscreen machines - in which case it is counted as a vote for the Republican Party.

[edit] From Botond

Botond is a famous Hungarian name which means 'warrior'.
This name is only a Hungarian name, it cannot be translated.

[edit] From Tomorrow

Yesterday's tomorrow is simply today, and the day before yesterday's tomorrow is yesterday's today. Tomorrow's tomorrow is today's day after tomorrow, and today's tomorrow is tomorrow's today. Yesterday's day after tomorrow, tomorrow's day before tomorrow, and today's day before the day after tomorrow are all today's tomorrow, but tomorrow's day before yesterday is yesterday's today. Tomorrow's tomorrow's tomorrow's tomorrow is the day after tomorrow's day after tomorrow, and the day before yesterday's tomorrow is both yesterday and tomorrow's day before yesterday.

Obviously, the text is only for headache so you can use HeadOn made by aliens to stupify people then attack them. *ahem* The whole text is false, as yesterday's not day after tommorow and such.

[edit] Josh Crowther

Josh Crowther was born on December 25th 0AD, in the year of our lord. He continues to have a messianic influence due to his immortality, ability to fly and to see in the dark.

Josh Crowther is extremely profficient in history. This is because he has lived througout the ages and has photographic memory that allows him to remember seeing Napoleon eat his favourite breakfast, coco pops with sliced bananas.

Josh Crowther is also well known for his ability to lose his vriginity and then regain it, a feat only practiced by other iconic male legends such as Chuck Norris.

Josh is now a student at Canberra Boys Grammar School, where he is studying in Year 11. He pleads innocence to this day.

[edit] Exicornt

An unwelcome word used to describe a crossover

[edit] From Dwarf planet

Pluto, considered a planet for 76 years, was desysopped and became a dwarf planet in 2006.


[edit] John Bunnell Drinking Game

John Bunnell is the over-the-top commentator on Fox's Wildest Police Videos, if you've seen it you'll get the humour =)

A popular drinking game in the UK consists of several beers and a video of World's Wildest Police Videos. Everytime John Bunnell says "Behind Bars" or "In Jail", participants must finish their beer and start a new one.

[edit] From Wikipedia:A)bort Bad Jokes, R)etry, or D)elete Nonsense

[edit] The poopsucker!

Hello, my name is Kittyslasher, and I eat shit. I want someone to shit in my mouth. So I can suck on the largest poop like a black man's penis. Oh god yes, I love the taste of poop. Please shit in my mouth, I love sucking poop. It's so yummy. Poop tastes like freshly baked brownies. I love munchin' on a nice pile of turd; it's not often that you get to eat your own poop. Every morning, I take a shit in the toy lot, and fish my poop out of the bowl. Oh god, I miss eating poop.[6]

Welcome to kittyslasher's stimulate my anus.[7]

I have an idea, Why don't you all go play hide and fuck yourself!

[edit] From Hikozaru

It is currently debatable whether the flame on it's backside is to either serve as a tail, fist aflame, or contribution to the chimpanzee sterotype; that being in it hurls flaming monkey shit.

[edit] From Oompa-Loompa

  • The Oompla-Loompa race has evolved in recent years. They have grown to be 5 feet tall believed to be a Lebanese and caucasian mix. More politicly correct, they now go by Misha and can be awefully squirrelly when provoked.

[edit] From The Simpsons

Rumors For Simpson Wrist Bands Have Been Reported being Used Underwear Has Been Admitted by Matt Groening That it is true infact its his old underwear when he was 8 years old! He chuckled about it but Hey! We dont know What Other people make there stuff out of! So Now we all know!

[edit] An Odd Category

People who exploit the deaths of dead American soldiers in political advertisements

[edit] From Sally Rand

Or, how one brave girl turned an embarassing personal problem into a career highlight :

"She also conceived and developed the bubble dance, in part to cope with wind while performing outdoors."

[edit] Captain blade mcslian

captain blade mcslian a pirate who is said to be the most powerful pirate in the caribbean, nown for his swashbuckling and sailing on his ship the cutless revenge. He as killed more then 1500 sailers and 2000 pirate enemies, sunk more then 1000 ships and feared by any living sailers for his skills and crew. His crew consist of his first mate bloody james vane, his first mates sister and 300,000 over crew members said to have killed five famouse pirates of the caribbean sea and said to never get old and neer die he is a pirate of mistory a pirate whos said to be mith said to only be in stories never found never heard some people have said they have seen his gost sailer have said they have seen his ship and its sails. stories say he, his crew and ship are condemed riding the caribbean in search of there missing treasure and love of the sea meny ships have diserpiread when the cutless revenge as been seen near the ships. people say he was already dead when he became a pirate and as never lost a battle becouse he is not alive in the first place. lagend or mith. its up to you

[edit] Soviet-Egyptian friendship monument (entire article)

It was Tall and Big

[edit] Usa (originally a redirect page)

Usa, not to be confused with the United States of America is a small country on the coast of South Africa, recognized by relatively few cartographers. No larger than Luxemburg, Usa is comprised primarily of factories in which many products soon to be shipped out to many other countries are made. Coincidentally, many Americans buy the products of Usa and believe that the products are "made in America." This common misconception outrages the Prime Minister of Usa Benjamin Franklin, the most famous American never to be elected President. Franklin appears on all paper and metal currency in Usa and continues to live off presumably the fountain of youth.

If you intended to research the U.S.A. redirect yourself here United States of America.

[edit] From Talk:Orc

Racism?

Why the notee specifically of orcs having equal intelligence to humans, why should this even be worthy of mention? Seems racist to me. 65.97.14.167 01:18, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

Orcs aren't real. ~MDD4696 01:58, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
This is not the point, whether they are real or not. The fact of the matter is that this is justifying racism by giving ammunition to racists. 65.97.14.167 02:09, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Boingy Food

Boingy Food is used as a definition to describe foods that have had other foods added to them that are not meant to be together.

An example of this would be Tuna and Sweetcorn - As a food mixture , they just are not a good mix and dont belong.

There is a Boingyness Factor wherein Tuna and Sweetcorn Mix is the base against which all other Boingyness are measured.


[edit] From Races of Final Fantasy

This history entry

Selkie girls mature abnormally fast, having bigger breasts in childhood than most humans in adulthood.

[edit] Keitholocism

Keitholocism was developed and founded during the Summer of 2005 by Keith Peterson, and Keith Edison. The striving goal of this religion is to make each and every follower a better person. One misconception of the religion is that your name needs to be Keith to join, this however is not true. There is only one rule that all followers must live by, that is to be more like Kenshin. In case you don’t know who Kenshin is he can be seen below.

Shortly after the Japanese revolution the country was in a state of distress with constant fear and terror of anyone who walked the streets, Kenshin the most dangerous assassin of his day abruptly changed his ways and strived to make peace with himself by doing no harm and always helping others. He reached an inner peace and “goodness” all Keitholocist’s strive to achieve.

[edit] John Sparks (Captain)

(Captain) John Z. Sparks (born November 27, 1982) is the nickname of Christopher D. Hughes, a notious 1700's pirate living in modern society. An excellent navigator, Sparks rose to power when he was handed a ship called 'The Younger,' a name given because all members live forever.


[edit] Middle Name

There is no concrete evidence that validifies John Sparks middle name. Though papers have shown him to sign a 'Z', some historians have also interpreted this as the number '7.' Other records hint that his middle name is actually 'Zixin,' a Chinese name meaning "self confidence." However, those records were proven to be false.


[edit] Vocal and physcial mannerisms

Sparks has been historically linked to fellow fictional pirate Jack Sparrow for his unusual, flamboyant, hand mannurisms. Double jointed, Sparks is known for locking his fingers and then popping them. In addition, he always takes a glass with his pinky extended. As he walks, fellow crewman have said that he 'saunters' from room to room, moving like water.

Sparks vocabulary and persuasionary skills were his highest asset. While his swordfighting was average, he was able to talk his way out of many comfrontations with the local authority and the local ruffians. Though not a deeply spiritual man, Sparks has been known to wax intellectual to the crew.

[edit] Brewing

Before a life of piracy, Sparks was an experienced brewer. Having made two solid drinks, The Chair Pale Ale and The 13th Step he profitied in the California coastline before turning to piracy.

[edit] Swordplay

Sparks would be the first to admit that he was not the best swordfighter. Trained to fence with an epee, he soon took the cutlass as his weapon. However, there are no records to show him swordfighting. However, Sparks is not afraid of insitgating fear or violence. When he hunted down a local merchant who had stolen from his crew, rumors have it that Sparks threatened to remove the man's right patella if he did not return the goods. The goods were returned.

[edit] From Wikipedia:Counter-Vandalism Unit undeletion proposal

Anyone who supports keeping the deletion as it was done is a complete moron. The actions of Drini are completely irreprehensible and are exactly what turn good editors into vandals. You can't delete something against a keep consensus just because you feel like it! And there are several good reasons to keep the CVU:

  1. The often cited fact that the CVU became a major vandalism target is a good thing. There is a finite amount of vandalism that can be committed, so isn't it better for you that vandals should target the CVU instead of articles?
  2. Vandal fighting is rather tedious and somewhat undesirable work. Why not have a "club" to make it more fun?
  3. The CVU is a good place for links to anti-vandal resources and discussion. Yes, this can be done elsewhere, but the CVU provides a central location.

So why is a vandal in favor of keeping the CVU around (I'm TJWhite and Orange Rocks)?

  1. Because the CVU is good at eliminating the blatant, childish vandalism that I dislike as much as you.
  2. The CVU provides someone to discuss issues of interest to both vandals and legitimate issues with.The preceding unsigned comment was added by Orange Fever (talk • contribs)

[edit] From the Miscellaneous Reference Desk

Phi Nu Pi.....

I Am Trying To Find Out About A Particular Organization. I Am Trying To Find Out About An Organization Named Phi Nu Pi. I Also Would Like To Know Its Relationship To Another Organization Named Kappa Alpha Psi And Whether Or Not Phi Nu Pi Still Exist To This Day. If You Could Help Me Or Tell Me Where I Can Find More Information About This Organization Please Let Me Know. Thank You!

Doesn't Capitalising The First Letter Of Every Word Make For Very Slow Typing? DirkvdM 07:52, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
I founD severaL referenceS linkingG kappA alphA psI tO phI nU pI, buT nonE particularlY cleaR. onE pagE listS thE founderS oF kappA alphA psI undeR thE headinG: "thE founderS oF phI nU pI": [8]. --LambiamTalk 08:24, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
I HopE ThaT HelpS YoU. (NoW ThiS IS GettinG RatheR SillY...) Peter O. (Talk) 17:40, 30 August 2006 (UTC)


[edit] From Matt Rubano

On August 27, 2006, Xtbx informed us of a rather painful medical problem the Taking Back Sunday bassist was suffering:

Matt Rubano is unable to urinate due to the fact that he has a mic logded in his urethra

[edit] Kapacha

Kapacha is a famous saying said by the great and marvolous… No one. But it is still an awesome positive word.

[edit] From water expander

I would like to know how it works, this information would be very helpful to many others. Please edit this page if you know anything about it

[edit] From 7chan's only reference

A blank page with the following text:

  • As an independent site I find 7chan an important movement in image boards.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Actually the article was copy and pasted from the 7chan article on this wiki, here.

This is a lie, This is lordvervex here and I can say honestly I asked my friend Ryan Humbard to make that page as a joke for wikipedia, I did not copy and paste it from that other site, please stop. 68.39.114.92 07:33, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

Site moved to here: http://www.trendpediawiki.com Anomo 09:17, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Nelson Kagan

Template:Infobox Celebrity

[edit] The Kagans

Born in Sao Paulo Brazil in the start of the 20th Century. He is one of the most famous engineers in South America with many contributions to the development of modern electric power systems. Many believe that electricity in Brazil would be non existent without some of his contributions. He is married to Suely Pfeferman, a wonderful and wise woman who knows all about elephant jokes. They also have a wonderful beagle named Sheynah and a Golden Retriever named Nynah.

[edit] Their Friends

While in England in the middle of the great deppression, Nelson and Suely met aColombian couple who worked closely with John Keynes and helped him develop his economic theories. The Colombians have been traveling in Brazil for the last 53 years. By now, they have made interesting discoveries in the Amazon Rainforest related to immortality using native plants and rabbits. The Kagans and the Colombians are now planning to sell their discoveries on eBay on the interest of hummanity.

[edit] The Dusty Bitch

The Dusty Bitch is a cocktail created in the late 20th century that only came to find prominence in very recent times. The drink is reported to have become popular as early as 2003 in local parties and bars central to Sydney, Australia. Whilst the exact recipe is purely a matter of debate between the drinks devotees, it basically consists of a mix of gin,pink grapefruit, tonic, and fresh mint & lime. Much like the Martini however, the real magic lies in the preparation of the drink, rather than the simple combining of the known ingredients.

The author of the drink remains elusive, except to a select few, sworn to secrecy. Known only as the "Dusty Father", some say he can tell how ripe a grapefruit is just by listening to it over the telephone. Others have reported he plays backgammon with the pope on a regular basis, but lets him win because he is a scary guy.

Variations on the drink were fast to emerge from Bartenders hoping to cash in the fashionable nature of the cocktail, including the "Phat Dusty Bitch" (top of glass frosted with pink sprinkles and icing sugar) and the "Dusty Waif" (diet tonic used), and also the "Dusty Munter with Tequila breath" (Served in a pint glass with a shot glass of tequila submerged in the bottom, garnish with a thumb tack).

The drink in all it's forms has to date has found further notoriety with numerous celebrities, including Iggy Pop, Snoop Doggy Dog, Rex Hunt, and even the wiggles.

Reports of an alcohol free, Halal version known as the "Dusty Infidel" are circulating in Pakistan, Dubai and Saudi Arabia.

The actual preparation of the Dusty Bitch is highly secretive. More information is required on this topic.

[edit] John Lydon

John Joseph Lydon (born January 31, 1956), also known as Johnny Rotten was the boring and trashy lead singer of the Sex Pistols and Public Image Ltd (PiL). With his leering, swaggering and sarcastic public persona, he laid down a new template for rebellious youth and band frontmen that continues to be imitated today. His musical innovations, largely with PiL, have also been extremely influential. He is currently working on a new album with a reggae influence. [9]

John Lydon sucked. He is a disgrace to society. His entire existance is a joke. He's a joke. I dont know what god was thinking when he made this bastard.

[edit] From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/How to Write Haiku

The result was delete:
Close the door early.
The tears of the tendentious
melting WP:SNOW.
Nandesuka 15:27, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] How to Write Haiku

Or rather, How to write very short poems in English that some people regard as haiku. And if I seem opinionated, so does the writer ("I"), as he or she writes for "you". Perhaps these points could be worked on, but the article is doomed, as Wikipedia articles should not include instruction - advice (legal, medical, or otherwise), suggestions, or contain "how-to"s. -- Hoary 03:28, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

  • Delete per WP:NOT a how-to guide, WP:OR, WP:NPOV, WP:V, and probably a few more. --Daniel Olsen 03:36, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete. Wikipedia's not a how-to guide. I remember there was a professional opinion (in Atlantic Monthly perhaps? It's archived and not accessible anymore I think.) that if the Haiku form (which isn't just about the 5-7-5 stance) were to be ported to English, it would end up being something like 2-3-2. ColourBurst 03:49, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete per above. Resolute 03:50, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Wikipedia
    Is not a how-to, so thus
    I say transwiki

    </s>I just had to do that before someone else did. Daniel Case 04:14, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

    • It's copyvio
      Elmer tells us; now I vote
      For speedy delete
      .
      Daniel Case 13:54, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Speedy Delete Nothing resembling encyclopedic, and a copyvio to boot. About as clear-cut an AfD candidate as they come. -Elmer Clark 04:24, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
    • Sadness as month ends:
      Criterion A8 is
      not satisfied here.
      <p> Uncle G 08:28, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete <s>or transwiki</s>. "How to write haiku"???
There's only two rules -
Meter is five, seven, five;
Meaning is oblique.<p>
And well done to Daniel for getting there first! Grutness...wha? 05:58, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
"Summer" they report?
Late winter here in the south!
And still I say delete<p>
Grutness...wha? 00:11, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete, the article's title says it all: WP:NOT a how to. --Kinu t/c 06:02, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Wikipedia
    Should delete this article
    Before summer ends.
    --Metropolitan90 07:06, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Elmer Clark points out:
    Copyrighted text is not
    what Wikibooks wants.
    <p>Uncle G 08:28, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Speedily delete
    This original research
    Plus it's a how-to
    Just zis Guy you know? 13:56, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete And I'm sulking because I didn't get here first!!!!! Marcus22 14:59, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete as a copyvio oh and someone BJAODN this AfD. Whispering(talk/b) 17:14, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • It's my first haiku
    I hope I got it all right
    in that case, delete

    Elisson Talk 19:25, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete and it's BJAODNed. Tony Fox (arf!) 20:22, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Wikipedia
    is not a how to guide, dude.
    My vote is Delete.
    Danny Lilithborne 00:00, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Speedy delete as copyvio, and to stop the AFD Haiku madness. Yomanganitalk 01:39, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Delete as a how-to guide, and sorry, I'm a prosaist and not a poet, so I'm turning to my trusty Perl interpreter:
    Ryonen departs
    under an oak. A duck. Two
    swallows flying west.
    Bankei's commentary...
    Wikipedia is not for how-to guides and copyvios
    (Sayings of Mysterious Compiler: line ???)
  • I want to vote keep/just to say I wrote haiku/that was not like yours. --badlydrawnjeff talk 00:03, 3 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Britney Spears

Britney Spears first appeared in the black metal scene at the age of 2 acting as the woman on chains in the dimmu borgir - progenies of the great apocalypse video. This then developed and she is now the front woman of otep. Her success in this style of music was great and she soon became poster goth girl in all the magazines. Her side projects included appearing in many Dimmu Borgir videos, singing with cradle of filth in nymphetamine and also in her ghost in the fog. she also had another side project called the Britney spears experiance featuring Jimmi Hendrix on guitar.

She has also been seen in many local gothic strip clubs dancing on the poles for £2.50 an hour. On top of this she sold herself out as a sex slave via ebay; whoever won the auction got her for 3 years. Her secret identity is Cat woman and she was once used as the spear that pierced Jesus Christs side during the crucifixtion.

[edit] From "Chuck norris Round House kick"

The chuck norris roundhouse Kick is the most deadly form of contact ever. If you think about it you will die. When Chuck Norris Uses this fighting move Nobody lives. Even if the foot misses the air will pull off your face.


[edit] History

No human male could possibly birth chuck norris. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and birth himself. he then kicked his way out of the stomach.

[edit] Deaths

Over billions of people have died.......At the sight of his beard.


[edit] Film and T.V.

In one film He fights Bruce lee and loses. This film is the most edited EVER! On Walker texas Ranger He must have 3 shots of elephant tranquilizer in order to do fight scenes. Although They all die.

[edit] Aneisgraphology

Aneisgraphology (from Greek a: no, eis: one, graphein: to write) is a branch of history and sociology. Aneisgraphology is the study of why Finnish political elections have no candidate number 1. The Finnish election system involves voters writing a candidate number on the voting ballot, and the candidate numbers always start from 2.

Several famous aneisgraphologists have come up with plausible theories. Currently, aneisgraphologists fall mainly into two camps:

  • The "no free publicity" camp: The reason for the number 1 missing is to prevent any candidate from using "candidate number 1" as a free publicity slogan.
  • The "no ambiguity" camp: The reason for the number 1 missing is to prevent ambiguity between the number 1 and the number 7, or a tickmark.

[edit] Manly ways to eat fruit

  • Grapefruit: eat the whole thing, seeds, skin and all....
  • Lemon: ditto
  • Banana: ditto
  • Peach: ditto, but you have to chip a few teeth and sawing the pit open with a chainsaw woudl also help, because peaches are extra girly....
  • Apple: ditto
  • Strawberry: dip it in gasoline then eat it
  • Coconut: eat the whole thing...in one bite! (If you're suicidal, you can eat 12 at once)
  • Passionfruit: eat twelve (seeds, skin and all) at once.
  • Blueberry: eat a bathtubfull and nearly die in the proccess
  • Cherry: eat 50 all at once, seeds, skin and all
  • Apricot: dip them in kerosene and light them in fire, then eat 30 all at once, seeds skin and all
  • Plum: turn them to prunes, and eat 5000. Get massive diarhea

[edit] AFD nomination for...Earth?

[edit] African Inordinate

Inordinate (while it is also an English adjective) is the common name given to a particular specie of East/South African insect. There are two sub-species – the Forest Inordinate, which lives inland in tropical forest areas; and the Coastal Inordinate, which lives in/around beaches, mainly in Palm trees or in grassy areas.

Physical Characteristics Relatively large (anywhere from 6 to 7 inches long), with thick, short hair covering most of its body, the Inordinate is sometimes mistaken for a small mammal at a distance. Indeed, the Maasai of Kenya and Tanzania often refer to it as a “winged spirit” believing that its mixed characteristics are a sign it has been sent by Ngai (God). The Inordinate’s wings are stiff, beetle-like, and covered in a thin layer of hair. Each of its six legs ends in a curved claw. The Inordinate has two large, black eyes beneath short antennae.

Behavior The Inordinate is believed to be (there have been no conclusive studies) nocturnal. It is usually seen at dawn or dusk, flying between trees. Although its behavior is not aggressive, the inordinate will protect itself when necessary by flying at its aggressor. Its claws are generally for climbing, but can be a formidable weapon when used on skin; Inordinates have been known to fly at people and cling to their faces, digging in with their tiny, yet sharp, claws until knocked away. This insect is considered a household pest by many Africans due to its habit of making its home in thatch roofs and dark spaces inside. Wherever it makes its home, the inordinate defends its territory, although it will sometimes leave it to seek food or find a mate. Such territories are typically very small, around an acre.

Mating Habits Other than location, breeding habits are the only known difference between the two Inordinate sub-species. Both mate only at the beginning of the dry seasons, with the males attracting females by flying continually around an object such as a tree or bush. The female Forest Inordinate lays her eggs in a long chain, which she attaches to the underside of a strong leaf or branch. She will then, in a maternal display rarely seen in the insect world, protect her eggs until they hatch, the offspring flying away. It is considered bad luck to cause a string of Inordinate eggs to fall to the ground. The female coastal Inordinate burrows into the outer wall of a coconut, (in rare cases, eggs have been found buried deep inside coconut palm trees) depositing her eggs at the end of this tunnel. She then leaves them to hatch on their own.

History The first foreigner to describe an Inordinate was Dutch naturalist Jorrit Kelmicher, in 1931. Although Kelmicher brought several of these insects back to Holland, no extensive studies have ever been done on the specie.

[edit] Eminem

Ronald Tushbargen Macdiddiekins III (born October 113th, 19722) is an American rap master general best known as Eminem or The Real Slim Shady, his stage name and Marshy baby,pet name of dr dre.He is a quiet white child living on welfare.He is not a gangster and displays very little rapping potential.He is hung like a baby and claims to be the smallest,yet biggest thing to come to rap today !In his spare time he enjoys good games of Yu-Gi-Oh,child pornogrophy,masturbation,playing whiffle ball and attending family barbeques.

He has also champions a more complicated rhyming scheme then most mainstream rappers, often rhyming every syllable in a whole line instead of just the last word (often called internal rhyming). Rappers Big L and Rakim employed this style as well.

IN HIS EARLY TIMES EMINEM HAD AFREIND NAME "VIKAS SAKLANI" EMINEM MENTIONED DURING IN ONE OF HIS INTERVIEWS THAT HE WAS MY BEST FREIND .HE HAD A TRACK WITH ME IN THE INFINITE ALBUM NAMED "THE TRUTH" WHICH SAYS THE REAL TRUTH OF DRUG DEAL THIS SONG WAS NOT RELEASED DUE TO ITS EXPLICT LYRICS.RAPPED BY VIKY AND EMINEM.

His number one fan is Hunter Bakes of Wilbraham, MA.

He is married to Kim Hehe

[edit] From Volkswagen Beetle

Sentence added to a mention of the Volkswagen Country Buggy:
Small fractions of people now call it the weevil.

[edit] Reference desk seagulls

[edit] Seagulls!

Can someone please explain to me why the Science RefDesk is so devoted to every possible aspect of seagulls? Once you're at it, are seagulls Hallal? Loomis 03:25, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

I thought we had banned them last week.--Light current 04:00, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Followup question

How long can a joke go before it stops being funny? This is not homework. – ClockworkSoul 04:13, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

File:Sea gulls Solitude 1.jpg
Who knows? Raul654 04:31, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
Bonus question: Arrange these six seagulls into one arrow. Anchoress 07:26, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
That's a trick question, they're already in an arrow. - Mgm|(talk) 08:26, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

Which dance is the one in the front doing? DirkvdM 09:49, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

THe funky chicken?--Light current 15:08, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
<s>He's not dancing, he's got gum stuck to the bottom of his foot.</s> Oops, no, on further examination, he stepped in some guano. Anchoress 14:39, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
From now on, I'm not going to even bother to archive the seagull related questions anymore (: That should save a few hours of my time--VectorPotential71.247.243.173 15:12, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
It is mostly User:Kurt_Shaped_Box's idea. He is constantly asking questions about <s>seagulls</s> bagels and catfish. — [Mac Davis] (talk) (Desk|Help me improve)
Do catfish masturbate? – ClockworkSoul 19:44, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
In Kurt Shaped Box's defense, I have observed him asking only serious questions about seagulls. Melchoir 06:07, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
In the seagulls' defense, I don't think I've ever observed them doing anything that deserved a banning.  freshofftheufoΓΛĿЌ  14:50, 30 August 2006 (UTC)

[edit] reference desk: Mattresses

What benefits would evolving in the shape and density of a mattress have, and how might one evolve in such a way given survival of the fittest and all that? This is not a homework question.  freshofftheufoΓΛĿЌ  15:41, 30 August 2006 (UTC)

File:Mattress family.png
Possible sleep configuration of a nuclear mattress family, cave setting
Is this a The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy related question? I would assume that it would greatly depend on the environment the creature lives in, and the way that the surrounding organisms have evolved. There are probably countless ways that mattresses could evolve, including artificial selection. -- Consumed Crustacean (talk) 15:52, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
Can you clarify the question? Is this a question about the evolution of mattresses qua shape and density, or about the evolution of some species, such as Homo sapiens, into mattress-shaped lifeforms? --LambiamTalk
I don't see why it would be any more unreasonable to expect homo sapiens to become mattresses. It might even be easier that way, because, as you could probably guess, these mattresses can talk.  freshofftheufoΓΛĿЌ  17:14, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
Im gonna have to sleep on that one!--Light current 16:13, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
  • groan* --Froth 14:36, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Stackability would ensure efficient sleeping, transport, and sexual arrangements, sound absorbency would mean a quieter environment, crashes and jumping from a great height would rarely be fatal,...--Shantavira 17:44, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
Yes! Stackability, now that would be useful. I can imagine scenarios where a creature would give up their ability to walk instead gaining the ability to bound short distances, most of them being in extremely docile environments where food supply is always guaranteed.  freshofftheufoΓΛĿЌ  05:58, 31 August 2006 (UTC)::

[edit] From Wikipedia:Miscellany for deletion/Wikipedia:Counter-Vandalism Unit

File:Cvutan.png
The new face of the CVU!

[edit] From Paul Lynde

A noted character actor, Lynde was well known for his roles as Uncle Arthur on Bewitched (which established the "funny gay uncle I better not leave home alone with my kids" cliché)

[edit] Rocket Sex

Rocket Sex is an act attempted by people who are normally very randy when pissed.

NOTE: If your girl doesn't bend easily. do not attempt this as her legs could get stuck behind her ears!

The female lies on the bed and puts her legs up in the air like the platform a rocket takes off from. The male proceeds to go at it like a rabbit launching his "rocket" into her dark space.

[edit] AFD for WTVT

{{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/WTVT}}

[edit] From clinical depression

Many people often deploy sheilds to help thme cope with life. But their shields are foten low level and break after a few attacks.

[edit] From Barney and Friends

Barney has even been identified as the anti-Christ. He does match much of the description of the anti-Christ, and the Latin form of Cute Purple Dinosaur is Cvte Pvrple Dinosavr. Taking all of the Roman numerals out of the name and adding them up in Arabic numbers would equal 666, the anti-Christ's number.[1] (URL is http://www.bible-prophecy.com/antichrist.htm)

[edit] Citric acid and cats

From the Science Reference desk:

Would diluted citric acid kill sperm?

Are we still talking about the cat? Rentwa 18:40, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Ah, but aren't we all, on some level, talking about the cat? Melchoir 18:43, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
I think the cat is really going to dislike you if you introduce citric acid to the sitution. Weregerbil 18:55, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Would diluted citric acid kill the cat? Until we dump the citric acid on the cat, he is both alive AND dead; we will determine an outcome by dumping acid on him. DO NOT TRY AT HOME Nimur 19:35, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
It probably wouldn't kill the cat, but I bet it would sting the pussy. Rentwa 00:01, 2 September 2006 (UTC)
Oooo it makes your eyes water just to think about it (2 points I think 8-))The preceding unsigned comment was added by Light current (talk • contribs)
This is a surprise to me, but Spermicide actually answers the question. Melchoir 18:44, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Not talking about the cat (though funny placement. I have good timing.) Thanks!

Err...Part two; would citric acid kill a yeast infection?

Dammit, I can't look at that article. I'm not even going to link to it. Melchoir 19:58, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Which article do you mean?--Light current 01:59, 2 September 2006 (UTC)
Why not try squeeezing your lemon to find out?--Light current 21:33, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
"Squeeze my lemon, till the juice runs down my legs". DirkvdM 09:19, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Northern Cardinal question

There was a fledgling cardinal in our yard about 2 weeks ago--it didn't look like a cardinal, but it was being fed by cardinal parents, and it couldn't fly. We were worried about it because it kept hopping into dangerous areas, like the sidewalk, etc. Now there is a red male cardinal hanging around, but no parents. Is it possible this is the fledgling? How long does it take a fledgling to get its red feathers?

Thanks!

This is a rather entertaining story until you realise it's about birds. :) DirkvdM 06:28, 3 September 2006 (UTC)
I remember when the racehorse Cardinal was retired. The headline said "Cardinal out to stud". JackofOz 12:08, 3 September 2006 (UTC)
At least it was not Cardinal Sin. --LambiamTalk 16:42, 3 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] "Islamic extremist terrorism" move log

Move log

  • 17:45, 3 June 2006 Irishpunktom (Talk | contribs) moved Islamic extremist terrorism to Islamic extremist political violence over redirect (If they stay, then the name must change) (revert)
  • 16:35, 23 May 2006 Irishpunktom (Talk | contribs) moved Islamic extremist terrorism to Islamic extremist violence (Article includes acts which some may not describe as terrorism, thus NPOV requires a rename.) (revert)
  • 18:24, 15 May 2006 Mitso Bel (Talk | contribs) moved Islamic extremist terrorism to Islamic extremist political violence (As Zionist terrorism was moved to Zionist political violence.) (revert)
  • 21:45, 17 February 2006 Siddiqui (Talk | contribs) moved Islamic extremist terrorism to Islamic political violence over redirect (revert)
  • 21:28, 17 February 2006 Siddiqui (Talk | contribs) moved Islamic extremist terrorism to Islamic political violence (The Jewish terrorism has been moved/redirected/renamed to Jewish political violence) (revert)

Note: The page is still under the title "Islamic extremist terrorism." Ya ya ya ya ya ya 01:08, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From current events

September 4, 2006.

[edit] From Triumph 1500

The Triumph 1500 was a small front-wheel drive automobile (...) a sunroof and rabbit hutch option was available.

[edit] From Meep

Meep is also a bad name for a cat. If you walk down the street calling "Betsy, Betsy, Betsy!" People will assume you're calling a pet. But if you go down the street calling "Meep, Meep, Meep!" People will just think you're weird.

[edit] From HORSE the band

PRESS BIOGRAPHY: Raised in the tough, gritty landscapes of Lake Forest, California street-smart emo-rockers HORSE the band have got something to prove to the world. With 4 of 5 members formerly in street gangs, HORSE the band is pretty fucking tough, and packs some street respect points. HORSE the band is a plea for recognition and approval, a desperate stab at validation. Eat shit. Through using nostalgic, unarguably cool 80s pop-culture references such as the 8 bit Nintendo, and making incomprehensible statements beyond critique like lots of artsy screamo bands, they have managed to be an interest in 43 live journals! Look at those fuckers go! North America, watch out for HORSE the band!

Nathan does the vocals for this band. On our last tour, he ripped a tendon in his ribcage after the 4th show (seriously), and slept in the back of the van for about a week and a half wearing the same shirt and muttering and taking prescription sleeping pills in bulk, but every night he would get really negative and then seconds before we hit the first chord he would grab his chest and annihilate his body again just in time for the next day. We should have taken him to the hospital, but who cares about pain if it isn't your own? Everyone in the world is a huge pussy compared to Nathan. I'm not kidding. One other aspect I enjoy about Nathan is his ability to write lyrics without the words "angel", "heart", "sorrow", "fallen", "bleeding", "veil", "please take this pain away from me", "you", and "is" in them.

David is the guitar player in this. A lot of hardcore kids say they like to listen to Bjork. Somehow she got popular cause probably the guitarist from a band that kids think no one likes except them but really everyone does like but no one realizes it so they're still respected in the scene like maybe A Life Once Lost or something mentioned he liked Bjork in an interview that everyone read but everyone thought they were the only ones who read it and felt it would be a good profile move for them to include Bjork in their favorite bands listings on websites. Anyway everyone knows Bjork is good but it's not like you assholes are listening to her nonstop. The point being that David is the guitarist for this "heavy" band and all he really listens to is Sting. I'm serious man. He went to Africa and just listened to Sting. That's why he can write oddtime riffs without you even realizing they are. Cause Sting is a masterful musician and pop legend. Cause that's the only point of writing an oddtime riff. Hi. If it sounds like it's wrong then it's just stupid. Fucking bands trying to be tech by writing a riff and taking off the last 2 notes. OH THAT'S FUCKING TALENT! KEEP IT UP GUYS!!!!

I would like to take this moment to tell you that if you some of you think this band is horrible (yet you are reading this, haha, hahahahhahaha. -2 points if you were softly caressing your dick under your shorts while you were reading that.), Erik is most likely the reason why you think that. Erik plays the keyboard and makes those "annoying computer noises that sound like an old nintendo game". Keep listening to Madball you 30 year old basketball jersey wearing washed up cunt that was 18 when nintendo was invented making you fucking old and a loser and no one cares what you think about anything and now you can't get a job to support your family and your titties are starting to sag and little red moles are sprouting out of them more and more every day under your basketball jersey as you cling to your last remnants of youth and wonder what is "sick" these days. Awww, does your pussy hurt? Now, the second important thing about Erik is his challenge to MOLLY STREET! MOLLY STREET!!! You are the only other Orange County keyboardist besides that girl from Fairview. There is not room for both of us. Girls are good for a lot of things, but they are not good for playing the keyboard!!!!!!! KEYBOARD CHALLENGE 2002 still stands. I await your response.

Dash Handjob farto Arkenstone is the newest addition to HORSE the band. He is the bass player. Dash is about 5'8" and has short black hair with a Jedi apprentice lock that he recently bleached and wraps around his ear. It is very cute. Dash plays a 5 string bass but he doesn't use the 5th string for heaviness, he uses it for jazzy shit and finger support. Dash is very, very good at bass and he likes all the riffs we make up a LOT. It rules. Also Dash is the sludge meister in case you didn't know. He really likes grindcore and sludge such as Dystopia and Grief that only my ex girlfriend listened to and a bunch of Mexican sludge kids from La Puente. He also likes Mastodon and his Dad keeps on almost winning grammy's. Dash is the perfect addition to HORSE the band because he was named after like 3 different totally awesome things. I can't hang out at Dash's house because of his cats, Wayne Gretzky and Saetia.

Eli is the fifth and final link in our friendship circle. He has a big fucking goatee. He also has a big hole in his nose that you can see right through. Eli is the only tattooed member of the band, and also the only member of the band who is a big gigantic pussy HAHA EEL EYE DO YOU LIKE THAT?!?!?! Eli's real name is Eel Eye his parents named him that because he is snake-like vermin and reminds people of an eel's eye!!! HAHAHAHAHA EEL EYE LOVES BURGERS AND HE GOES THROUGH GIRLFRIENDS LIKE TOILET PAPER!!! Lucky concertgoers will get a rare second look at this specimen on tour. One time Eel Eye made us eat a burger that was 6 hours out of the way. It weighed 6 pounds. He couldn't even eat half of it!!! One day I went to the bathroom in a luxury hotel we were staying at. Lying on the linoleum floor there was a creature. It looked dead. It was Eli's goatee. I arranged it into a meaningful formation and left it on the floor.

[edit] From Spiced bun

A spiced bun is a bun into which spices were added during the making process. Spiced buns are therefore usually spicy in taste, and are predominantly bought by people who are predisposed to the taste of spices.

[edit] From Stingray

[edit] Stingray vs. Steve Irwin

Steve Irwin uses "Crikey!"

Stingray takes 52 damage

Stingray uses poisoned stinger

Steve Irwin dodges

Steve Irwin uses "CRIKEY!!"

Stingray takes 76 damage

Stingray goes in a rage

Stingray uses barbed impale

Steve Irwin is critted for 9804 damage

Steve Irwin dies

Stingray says: lol pwned n00b im to l33t for u

--18:36, September 5, 2006; 204.108.113.4

This person plays too much World of Warcraft.

[edit] Count Chocula

Chocula attended Woodbridge High School from 1985 to 1989.

[edit] List of fictional bears

Bears in fiction are often used to desensitize america's youth so that they apear cute and harmless. In factuality bears are our number one threat and ruthless killing machines. Pooh bear is something NOT to be admired by children. His taste for honey is in factuality a craving for blood. Bears are even tripling in number. Ohio's portugal now has more bears than people.

(this was added to the top of the article on 1st September [10] and not removed till the 6th [11])

[edit] "Oofo"

[edit] Introduction

Just what is an oofo?

It is a popular conveyance of emotion among the ascii-based bowels of the nation we know today as the internet. Though rarely is the truth behind these simple gestures of "wierdedoutdeness" explained. They are used without consideration of their rightful name, and it is this article's job to shed some light on the misunderstood entities of text.

[edit] Etymology

Oofos are charcteristically represented in many forms, though only one is the proper incarnation. This correct form is displayed by typing a lowercase English O, followed by an underscore, then finished with a capital English O. See:

o_O

There are several if not dozens of alternate versions, if you will, of the oofo. See:

O_o o.O O.o oO Oo o_0 0_o o.0

And so on. On occasion, special foreign characters are used in replacement of the standard letter Os. See:

ô_O o_Ö

While all thse additional standards of the oofo are widely and unquestioningly accepted, it is vitally important to utiliate the oofo correctly and responsibly, as well as inform any incorrect oofo violators of their inappropriate use guide them through the proper application of the oofo.

[edit] Symbolism

The oofo is a perfectly appropriate reaction to a variety of situations and experiences. But it is crucial to attribute it to a deserving cause. For example, an oofo is in no means a necesary response to one stating their enamoration of colored markers. A simple ellipsis is all too appropriate a reaction in that occurence. So what then, precisely, is the emotion an oofo is to convey?

It portrays an attitude of awkwardness, of surprise, of being wierded out. It portrays that the respondant has been perturbed or disturbed in some way, slight or dramatic, and wishes to display it. Indeed, just what it portrays is cannot necesarily be defined in any exact description. It is simply the emotion of an oofo. When is this reaction recquired or at least requested? - Any reference to a children's "educational" television program akin to Boohbahs should automatically ellicit an oofo in reply. - An image of a rather large man dressed in the costume of Princess Toadstool, Princess Zelda, or any other nonexistant video game damsel-in-distress is likely to force dozens of oofos in effect. - Any occurence of an altogether odd, disturbing, insane, wacky, or weird experience usually has an oofo following soon afterwards.

Use the oofo appropriately and in the appropriate situation, respecting the utmost mawsomity of its design and intention.

[edit] Related Subjects

It is a common misconception that the symbol ">_<" is a convayance of emotion as well, believed by some to even be the cousin of the oofo. Rather, the very contrary. It is simply a mathematical statement that delcares an underscore as less than absolutely everything else in existence.

[edit] Miscellaneous Facts

Oofos are highly depreciative of pie, muffins, cheese, and other excessively clichéd soidisantly entitled "random" edible materials that are usually the subject of an unnatural and untrue obsession.

Oofos have teeth and will bite you if you scream the name of Daniel J. Hochstatter at the top (or rather, bottom) of your lungs. UPDATE: Several hundreds of you readers have wrote in to declare this particular piece of information false. We thank you for your, if skeptic, devotion in this matter and request that you neglect to scream the name of Daniel J. Hochstatter at the top (or rather, bottom) of your lungs ever again.

[edit] User:Anomo's info on himself using WP:

WP:A WP:LIST WP:ABOUT WP:ME...

[edit] From Throwing

An umpire who wishes to remain nameless has recently created controversy after calling "no-ball" in a recent CAS competition game against St. Aloysius College. The "illegal" player, Ryan Matthews is still in denial. The ball in question was being filmed at the time but was unfortunately blocked out by an extremely large object, believed to have been the head of a team mate, Andrew Marsh. This is not the first time Andrew's head has been in the way. (See article titled "the solar eclipse".) The team did eventually go on to win that game, despite the captain Hamish McGilvray declaring very early after rumours that lunch was of high quality and quantity, later confirmed when Hamish sat the last session out with indigestion. The team also went on to claim the CAS Premiership however Ryan Matthews is still haunted to this day with shouts of "no-ball" from his team mates and indeed the crowd who pile in to see him get hit to all corners of the park. In a Muttiah Muralitharan move Matthews has vowed to "quit cricket and not return", a comment welcomed by his team mates. Similar controversy struck team-mate Jeremy Bridle, who was reported for a the same cricketing crime of 'chucking'. He was sent to the ICC's biomechanical institute for further testing, with the ICC utilising the latest in throwing technology, similar to Channel 9's Hawk Eye. In a victory for medium pacers everywhere, Jeremy was cleared of all charges as his bowling style was deemed to be 'outside the parameters of the technology's testing capabilities'. Rumours have recently been confirmed by the head of the ICC, Malcolm Speed, that Jeremy's action was unexaminable because of 'speed' issues (no pun intended).

[edit] From Rickshaw

Another theory is that English adventurer Richard Shaw was the first person to bring one back to England, thus the name Rick Shaw.

[edit] "Granny Hokhands", by User:Finncullen

Elizabeth Agnes Crickfadge was born in 1899 to a poor family of weasel-felchers in Ripon, North Yorkshire. Her childhood was a normal one for Ripon and she married her brother Percy in 1907 at the age of eight.

During the first world war (1914 to 1918) she served her country by poisoning stray dogs until an unfortunate accident with an angry Shitzu resulted in the loss of both her hands. It was during this period that she earned her first nickname of Betty Stumpwrists.

She resisted medical treatment until the early 1950s, living wild in the Moors until she was captured by passing gypsies (the Ferdinand clan) and exhibited as a freak in their travelling carnival until the 1970s under the stage name of "Horrid Handless Hag". She was freed by a kindly doctor in 1981 and fitted with a pair of metal hooks to allow her some measure of dignity and autonomy. Her first act with her new prosthetics was to disembowel the doctor and she fled into the Moors once again wearing his entrails around her neck.

Now known as Granny HookHands she prowls the dark streets and by-ways of the Whitby area devouring chavs and snot nosed heroin brats and is naturally considered one of Whitby's finest citizens.

[edit] From BJAODN main page

This diff

[edit] From Barney and Friends

barney is the antichrist!

CVte pVrpLe DInosaVr

c+v+v+l+d+i+v 100+5+5+50+500+1+5=666!

saving the world since 1998, paul mccartney

[edit] From Fire extinguisher

There are rumours that the class K fire extinguisher was originally created for the Krispy Kreme doughnut chain. Krispy Kreme used a special oil. When cooking, the temperature gets so high that if there is an accident, a normal fire extinguisher couldn't put out. They made a fire extinguisher just for Krispy Kreme, hence class K for Krispy Kreme.

[edit] From France

The level of sodomy inherint in France is astronomically higher than any other country. This is characterized by the nude beaches, whose sand has absorbed more semen than any other material on earth. According to recent study, the semen to sand ration is as high as 20 ml:1 ml. This has caused many a child to be lost in the "quick-semen pits" which act as quick sand, dragging and suffocating those unlucky enough to fall into them. The bones of 15 dogs were recently found, encased in hardend ejaculatory fluid.

[edit] From Final Fantasy VII

For a bit, the first sentence read:

Final Fantasy VII (ファイナルファンタジーVII, Fainaru Fantajī Sebun)is teh UBERNESS!!!

Then it continued with the original article.

[edit] from Chris Zebroski

Just for background, Chris Zebroski was a footballer fired by Plymouth for glassing the club captain in the face; and who has since signed for Millwall. A whole group of IPs added the following cumulatively over the last few days:

Cites the red nosed, Oliver Reed like Horne's Penalty Save as one of his biggest fans. As a gesture to his new club, Zebroski has also offered to pay Lauren's entrance fee for Millwall's home game against Brighton.

Never one to shirk from a challenge, Zebroski has offered to pay for Egg's pre match meal if as predicted he scores a hat trick on his debut for London's worst Football League team.

He is still piching himself that a club who will be in the top 15 of the Premiership in 3 years time have offered a complete pshycopath on a GBH charge a new contract.

Club Cheif Executive Ken Brown defended the club's decision saying "Everyone deserves another chance, that is with the exception of the fans I have banned on trumped up charges, they are filthy scum who should all be shot".

Zebroski was recently (infact in the last 10 mins) quoted as saying "MISA ([12]) is my favourite Millwall based internet page. If only someone would set up a Wikipedia page dedicated to it".

Zebedee went on to say, " As my new club has no half decent wingers to provide me anything, I shall probably do fuck all, so you might aswell let me twat that Elliot boy with my bottle of supermalt and let me go elsewhere"

[edit] from Simon Byrne

McKay was buried in Hanslope Churchyard with the following inscription on his headstone:

There once was a lad named Kevin
Whose girlfriend was four foot eleven
She looked at his cock
When it was hard as a rock
And it was ten inches long...minus seven

[edit] Jo Frost

Supernanny has a million kids but is really a man.

[edit] from Loch Ness Monster

The lochness monster is a special type of coin from argentina, it was used in the making of the first toilet. It was the flusher handle. Eventually someone got poop on the handle due to people using there hands as toilet paper. After that the coin was used as a discrimination to people with blue shoes. people had to carry it everywhere. If they had blue shoes and were found with out the lochness monster, they had the punishment of having to mate with a donkey.

[edit] From Georgetown

It all started in the late 1765 with the great great great Arnest T. Hulk Hogan.He was half horse have man and had to protect kentucky from the evil cow lord Booker T.After the two met in battle Arnest T. Hulk Hogan used a kick that exploded Booker T into a city.It was amazing and a freak coincidence that has never happened since but his guts formed a perfect town.One day a guy named Jeremy Marshall was born and he fuckin rocker.He had a dog when he was 4 named shadow but it was a white dog so i dont know why he name dit that but it was fucking awesome.One day he got a job at kroger but he calle din to play ultimate frisbee tonight.There is a ghetto in georgetown called scroggins.Dont go there because Jeremy Marshall will shoot your ass even though he doesnt live there but he has super scroggins senses and knows when your there.Its all over bitch.Im going to kill you.




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