# UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/57 Varieties of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense

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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense,
you may do so at UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love (but PLEASE cite your sources!)

Reference to the classic Heinz slogan.

## Carl's Number

Carl's number is often described as the largest number that has ever been seriously used in a Wikipedia article. It is too large to be written in scientific notation because even the digits in the exponent would exceed the number of bits in the Wikipedia hard drive, so it needs special notation to write down. Carl's number is much larger than other well known large numbers such as a googol and a googolplex, and even larger than Graham's number, another well-known extremely large number.

### Carl's problem

Carl's number is connected to the following problem in the branch of mathematics known as "just way too many dimensions":

Consider an n-dimensional universe, such that n0 = phi. Then begin to increase n indefinitely. As n approaches 42, a Graham's number-dimensional universe collides with the n-dimensional universe to unite and form a single m-dimensional universe. What is the most probable value of m?

Although the solution to this problem is not yet proved, Carl's number is the most probably solution and is the generally accepted answer. Carl found this when attempting to solve the first ever Graham's number-dimensional rubik cube.

### Definition of Carl's number

Carl's number Q is defined as follows:

${\displaystyle Q_{1}=3\uparrow \uparrow \uparrow \uparrow 3+42={\begin{matrix}\underbrace {3_{}^{3^{3^{3^{{}^{.\,^{.\,^{.}}}}}}}+42} \\{\mbox{ write the number three }}3^{205891132094649}{\mbox{ times and add 42}}\end{matrix}}}$

### Historical significance of Q

Although the exact reason for picking Q is still unknown, it is often rumored that Carl picked the letter Q due to a complicated vector problem involving more dimensions than there are fundamental particles in the visible universe. To get around this, Carl created the Q notation, such that Q is everything. (The one and only contribution of User:MyNameIsCarl and, incidentaly much (I can't express how much) smaller than Grahams number.)

## ...With Intensity!!!!!!

On December 20, 2006 The unverifiable dancing game Dance With Intensity was put up for deletion. This is one of the points of debate:

• Delete with Intensity - as per MER-C. --tgheretford (talk) 09:44, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

## From The Mrs Goggins Trophy

Error creating thumbnail: Unable to save thumbnail to destination
The Mrs Goggins Trophy

The Mrs Goggins Trophy (or MGT for short) is a cup awarded to the winner of the Pro Evo bout 'twixt co-hosts 'Long ball' D and Raven, and guests'rock god' Esqand 'vinegar toes' Phwilly.

The trophy derived from the attending Esq's likeness to the Postman Pat character.

Tuesday, December 16th has been penned in as the date of the inaugral round of the MGT with Phwilly hotly tipped to finish bottom.

D usually takes control of Arsenal - the pump up the field from the goaltender or the 'hook' from a defender up to Henry suiting his long ball style of play. D is also noted for rarely scoring from open play and also letting his netminder take all corners, free kicks and penalties, as well as bringing him out of his box on more than one occasion. Not to mention his knack of heading the ball into his own net when a ball is whipped into his own box.

Raven reigned supreme throughout all bouts on Pro Evo 5 with his self-created Norwich City team but alas hasn't had time to enter said team into the new version of Pro Evo so he usually settles for Manchester United or disgraced Juventus.

Esq plumps for his beloved AC Milan - such is his Italian heritage. Said loyalty is further reflected by his donning of the official shirt worn by the Rossoneri (Red-blacks).

Dearest Phwil (Schildkröt or shelled toad), in homage to his looky likey Rafael Benitez, dons a retro Liverpool top (evoking memories past of the time he received delivery of a pizza in said garb) as he takes charge of the mighty Reds. His game lacks any real skill with Phwilly usually putting all 11 men behind the ball and shutting up shop from the off. He has yet to win a bout or even come close. Poor Phwilly.

### Unusual Rules

Occasionally the participants of the MGT will agree to break from the norm and invoke the Unusual Rules clause. This involves scores being based not on goals but also on the following criteria as listed on Ye Olde Unusual Rules Scribe:

Yellow karton = 1 goal

Red karton = 2 goals (2 yellows = 2 goals)

Woodwork strucketh = 1 goal (multiple strikes welcome)

Ball atop net = 2 goals

Air kick = 1 goal

Corner flag strucketh = 1 goal

Player knobbled = 1 goal (Awarded to distributor not recipient)

Player knobbled harsheth = 2 goals

When playing under Unusual Rules, Esq will attempt to cheat and strike a sneaky corner onto 'atop net' The wily fox has yet to succeed with such a cheapshot.

### The Text Message Garnai Controversy

The players doing battle in the Mrs Goggins Trophy

One rule that was initially entered then scrapped from the scribe involved 1 goal being awarded to aplyer if his opponent garnered a text message on his mobile during a match. However, this was scrapped following protest from Phwilly who receives, on average, 507 texts during the evening. It was also assumed that sneaky D would text the players during a game to influence the final standings.

### Pre-bout odds

Betting form for the bout is provided by the mobile texting Question and Answer service AQA to discover who is the pre-bout tip to claim victory, and also the wooden spoon (usually Phwilly).

However, in the final bout before the introduction of the MGT this service was called into question after it tipped Esq to reign supreme despite Raven triumphing in every single previous bout. The form book was turned on its head as D secured the title (due to him being the only person to play the game outside of the bout on his PSP).

This has led to critics doubting the use of AQA, notably Raven replying to said service with a volley of swear words. AQA was ridiculed further by Raven after it suggested a 'glorious freekick would be scored in the second game'. No freekick has been scored by any participant in any game, ever.

## Notice posted on the corridor of the ground floor at Hietalahdenkatu 7A, Helsinki, Finland

The notice posted on the corridor of the ground floor at Hietalahdenkatu 7A, Helsinki, Finland is a roughly A4-sized piece of paper posted on the wall of the corridor of a ground floor of an apartment building at Hietalahti, Helsinki, Finland. The notice is printed in Finnish and reminds people that storing bicycles by chaining them into the mat cleaning racks outside the building is forbidden.

## From E-40 - Ice cream.. BITCH!

This diff shows that the article was vandalized by replacing the title of an album to I Like Ice Cream Bitch.

## Someone doesn't believe in Simeon_Stylites...

Found this at the very end of the article on Pole-sitting.

"no way any of this information is correct about the dude on the column NO WAY!! 36 years?? he woulda had to have like a psp or someting"

Yes. He had a magical time-traveling PSP in the year 388! Of course!

## From The Count of Monte Cristo

Mrs.Stumbs english classes : do not use this to write any papers or do any college portfolios! she will catch you!

## From Da Big Boom

Da Big Boom is the name colloquially given to the mutual destruction of every WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction) on the face of the Earth at the same time in the same place on October 1, 1997, shortly after the Rapture. A number of other materials, including but not limited to several tonnes of C4, TNT, Nitro glycerin, and antimatter, were also used as aids in the explosion.

### Effects on the Environment

The destruction of the world had a massive effect on the environment, including the simultaneous extinction of all species on the planet, except Australians, who are still saying, "WTF, mates?" According to a Gallup poll of martians, 98% of all inhabitants of the red planet describe Da Big Boom as "one big frag and the best fireworks ever."

### Criticism

Many humans were against Da Big Boom at the time of its occurance. All criticism ceased after the Da Big Boom and unanimous agreement of its success remained widespread in most parts of the world. However, some people, such as George W. Bush, deny all claims that the world has been destroyed, suggesting that it might instead have simply rearranged itself into two stars.

### Causes

It is unclear why Da Big Boom was considered a good idea. Some believe that it occurred in the midst of a war for oil. Others believe it was inspired by the rallying cry to "nuke Sudan" by one Matthew J. Hammond.

However, many believe the most likely reason of all, is simply that his heart was two sizes too small.

## From sexual cannibalism

Gotta love malapropisms

Any male who succumbs to the female's attempts to devour him before mating occurs fails to pass on his DNA. This is only applicable in species in which the male is not fully complacent in his demise.

## Template: Jimbo stub

This linked to Category:Jimbo's left nostril stubs.

## from Quint

Kathleen Quint is 41 years of age. she is married with three children... sorry four children, kristy. Adios

## From Web Hosting Reviews

User recreated an article that (I think) had been previously speedy deleted. Notice the header that they included this time around.

Created page with '{{db-spam}}Web Hosting Reviews are generally remarks and Web Hosting Reviews are generally remarks and comments from the customers using certain Web Hosting Service . Customers put their feedback from the expe...'

## From Christopher Marlowe

This is when Marlowe was best by the gods of Egypt and became preganant with triplets which he later named delic, shara, and elizabeth.

## From Vaisseaux Bank

Amazing what a one-letter typo will do.... Shopping?

Vaisseaux Bank is an area of shallow water eight kilometres from the south coast of Grande-Terre, in the French Caribbean departement of Guadeloupe. It rises to just a few metres below sea level, and as such is a significant hazard to shopping.

## Wooden Thomas

The following isn't the AFD nomination - it is the actual text of the article.

Non-notable artist/musician. Most notable claim is having published an album in 2004. Article is also POV. It has been around since July 2005 which is why I didn't just prod it. The articles that link to here are Casandra Stark which is tagged for cleanup and verification, and Talk:Pine Barrens (New Jersey) which only references in regard to how to format the Pine Barrens page.

## Clikipedia

### The Game

Clickipedia is a game played over the Wikipedea database. It can be played as a one person solitary challenge or in groups.

### Objective

The object of the game is to navigate from the current Wikipedea "Featured Article" to the previous day's "Featured Article" using only the hyperlinks embedded in the articles. The sequence of hperlinks from the current to previous featured article is known as a "hyperlink chain" or "chain". A player of Clikipedea should attempt to navigate in as few "clicks" as possible and hence, minimise their chain.

### Constraints

Only hyperlinks that exist in an article in a chain one day prior to the appearence of a featured article starting that chain can be used in that chain. This is intended to discourage the editing of articles for the purpose of creating a shorter chain. Not only would this be cheating, it would also be an abuse of Wikipedia.

Only internal Wikipedea hyperlinks embedded in an article can be used. Hyperlinks appearing in the "navigation" and "toolbox" panels (fixed on the left of the web page) can not be used. Hyperlinks to web pages outside Wikipedea (eg, Citations, References, On-Line sources and External Links) can not be used.

### Example Games

Example Game 1: 19/01/07. A chain of 4 clicks.

19/01/07 Featured Article: El_Greco

18/01/07 Featured Article: Restoration Literature

Example Game 2: 18/01/07. A chain of 3 clicks. 18/01/07 Featured Article: Restoration Literature

17/01/07 Featured Article: Sheffield Wednesday F.C.

Restoration Literature, England, [[wikipedia:Sheffield], Sheffield Wednesday F.C.

Example Game 3: 17/01/07. A chain of 5 clicks. 17/01/07 Featured Article: Sheffield Wednesday F.C.

16/01/07 Featured Article: Halloween

## bored workers

this edit to Downer EDi (an Australian engineering company) appears to be legitimate: 203.58.44.15 resolves to ns1.downerengineering.com.au. [1]

Downer EDI has a very boring and tedious office in Gladesville, which is a small festering hole on the outskirts of Sydney. It is so small there is no possible place for its starved workers to obtain lunch. Please help us. We're stuck.

## Gaywarts Pool of Bitchcraft and Lizardry

Gaywarts Pool of Bitchcraft and Lizardry is a real pool of gays that is the main setting of the Barry Brown series.

Gaywarts is the only known pool of gays in Australia, training the gay men of Australia possessing gay abilities to become fully qualified gays and lesbians. Its status is not discussed in great detail in the Barry Brown novels, but it is known to be a horny pool taking gays and lesbians from ages 11 to 98. T. K. Bowling initially said there are about 9 billion horny people at Gaywarts. He later suggested around six billion, while acknowledging that this number was still inconsistent with the large number of people in Barry's year. He further explained that this had resulted from hes creating only 9000 characters for Barr's year.

There are two other pools of gayness mentioned by name in the Barry Brown novels: one, Bumbuttons Academy of Lesbians, is located in France, while the Duumstrangle Gay Institute is located in Brazil. The name of a possible pool, the Fat People Institute, suggests that it may be found in North America. This organisation is in fact only mentioned in relation to a number of middle-aged lesbians in Barry Brown and the Order in the Court and T. K. Bowling has not confirmed if it is indeed a school of gayness in the United States.

It is also possible for adults to study the art of gayness by distance learning, a method attempted by Argus PingPong, as Barry inadvertently discovered in his second year that PingPong was attempting to teach himself basic gayness from a KWIKGAY correspondence course in beginners' gayness. The pamphlet mentioned only adults: it is unknown if it offers services to children.

It is unclear how Gaywarts is funded, although there is no suggestion that students pay fees. Students are required to purchase their own textbooks, gay clothig, and other supplies, however. Some financial aid is available for students: in the sixth book of the series, there is mention of a special fund for books or equipment for needy students.

## From Scots law (the distressing case of pop).

WARNING! This case was particularly gruesome and those of a delicate disposition are advised not to read the following paragraph.

Mrs Donoghue had been enjoying an ice cream with ginger beer her friend had bought her in Mr Minchella's café in Paisley, when she emptied the opaque ginger beer bottle out and the decomposing remains of a snail emerged.

diff: [2]

## From Red Lobster

One time, I got food poisoning at this Red Lobster in Tuscaloosa. Seriously, it was bad, I was throwing up all night. I even threw up on my suitcase so all my clothes smelled like it, so I had to go wash them off, which was really bad because the next morning I was supposed to give a presentation at this conference for the company I work for. I REALLY HATE my job, but hey, it's the only company that would hire me despite my seventy-four registered sex offenses.

So yeah, there I was, wandering around the hall at 2 in the morning, washing my clothes to try to get the smell of vomit out, and this hooker walks up and propositions me right in the hall! She even looked like she'd just finished with another customer in one of the rooms on my floor. I was like "Haha. No" and walked away, but then I decided since I was having such a terrible night some company might not be so bad, so I went to bed with her after paying her 20 bucks (ridiculous!) and the next morning I woke up with a burning sensation in my genitals, and I was 2 hours late for the meeting.

And that's the time I got food poisoning at Red Lobster.

## From an entry for a media veterinary surgeon

hi harry my name is ...... and our bird will not stop laying eggs and she gets really angry and she will bit you. when she is not laying eggs she will bit you if you are a girl or not my older brother Tristan cause she is has bird. this is not the bird it is my guinea pigs they fit so we but a divider so they are not with each other but one has a toe haging off that means he has 3 toes on one foot and 4 toes on 3 of his feet. our dog patch when ever sameone cames over she pees her self and it is really inbarsing.

That's great but I severely doubt Dr Harry actually reads his own Wikipedia article's discussion page.

## (censored)

YOU PEOPLE THINK YOUR SOO User:Flyingidiot/blackout FUNNY!!!
WELL YOU User:Flyingidiot/blackout PEOPLE ARENT User:Flyingidiot/blackout WORTH A User:Flyingidiot/blackout CHUCKLE!!!!

User:Flyingidiot/blackout YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*Not an acutal complaint

## From "Power Warriors"

Billions of Years ago, Earth had an Advanced Ancient Civilization. The Civilization created The Nexus Mecha - Giant Humanoid Robots. When the Alien Empire called "Gaara" was afraid of what Earth would do they decided to destroy the Ancient Civilization. The Civilization Leader known as the Shin sent his Son after an Eternity.

In the Year 2007, Ken (The Leader's Son) arrived on the Earth. There he met Michael, Josh, Leon & Lin. 3 Syndicates - Gaara, Voltes & Shogun Tribes started to attack Earth. The 5 Humans fight the Syndicates known as the Power Warriors

## Squirrel rock band (something I don't expect to make an E! or MTV documentary soon.)

West Virginia,Bob millanini took four squirrels from his kneighborhood and payed gibson to make little mini guitars and a bass.The drums he constructed hiself and he gave the squirrels their instruments.immediatly the squirrels began to fight and 2 of them started mating.It took several years to teach the squirrels to play but soon they were rocking to zepellin covers.They even won the battle of the bands and realesed a cd.But soon the squirrels wanted to go in different directions musically.The lead guitarist starting doing crack and evens quirrel prostitution.The squirrel drummer died in a tragic roadkill incedent and the band broke up.Bob Millanini has started on a new project though.He is currently teaching raccoons to rock.He hopes they wont go nuts like the squirrels but he does catch them digging in his trash can every once and a while.

## The meaning of life the universe and everything

This was fun. An article created simply with the text

42

Nominated for WP:SPEEDY simply because it was a rephrasing of the title, and we already know that the meaning of life is 54... oops, sorry, 42.

I'm also tempted to reply with Wikipedia:The World Will Not End Tomorrow... :-) --///Jrothwell (talk)/// 19:32, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

## Another big penis edit... yawn...

This time on my variant of the main page, quite sneaky as well - I didn't spot it at first. But look at this: [3].

For your convenience, "the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit" was replaced by "the pink penis that anyone can edit".

I'd rather not try. --///Jrothwell (talk)/// 19:48, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Hate to nitpick but there is no mention of the size of the penis it could be a small one. Quadzilla99 19:20, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

## Dinker

Template:Unit of length The dinker is a measure of length. It is a unit that is used in a colloquial fashion, similar to how the Torr is used when discussing pressure measurements. It is a basic unit of length in the Imperiametric System, commonly used for 'ball-park' size and distance estimates. Originally, the dinker was defined by the Committee for Length Measure as the height of a standard Poker Trophy. Since that time, the unit has been standardised and made equivalent to 6 inches.

The symbol for the dinker is ♂. Decimal multiples and submultiples of the dinker, such as kilodinker (1000 dinkers) and centidinker (1/100 dinker), are denoted by adding standard prefixes to dinker (see table below).

The angle of dinklination is the angle subtended by a dinker from a distance of 2 feet, and is approximately equivalent to 14.25o.

### Timeline of definition

• 2006December 16 — Following months of proposals and public consultations, the official symbol for the dinker is established as ♂.
• 2007January 15 — The Committee for Length Measure is successful in its bid to establish the dinker as the standard unit of length in the Imperiametric System of measurement.

### Prefixed forms of dinker

Prefixes are often employed to denote decimal multiples and submultiples of the dinker. The most commonly used factors of dinker are listed below in bold.

 Factor Name Symbol Factor Name Symbol 10−1 decidinker d♂ 101 decadinker da♂ 10−2 centidinker c♂ 102 hectodinker h♂ 10−3 millidinker m♂ 103 kilodinker k♂ 10−6 microdinker µ♂ 106 megadinker M♂ 10−9 nanodinker n♂ 109 gigadinker G♂ 10−12 picodinker p♂ 1012 teradinker T♂ 10−15 femtodinker f♂ 1015 petadinker (firmi) P♂ 10−18 attodinker a♂ 1018 exadinker E♂ 10−21 zeptodinker z♂ 1021 zettadinker Z♂ 10−24 yoctodinker y♂ 1024 yottadinker Y♂

### Equivalents in other units

Imperiametric value Other unit
1 ♂ 6 inches
16.67 c♂ 1 inch
1 n♂ 1.524 ångströms
0.1 n♂ 1 wångström

## Cleaning my room

Monday, January 08, 2007

When my mother asks me to clean my room, I simpley ask "Why?" She normally replies with the same old, "So I don't have to look at it like that anymore!" "Like what?" I question. "Like a tornado hit it!" She replies. "My room is the room of an artist. That is the reason why my cut up magazines, modge podge, scissors, and posterboards are all over the floor. If you don't like it, I can simpley close the door, or if you'd rather, you not come in, or shield your eyes when you do come in."

For some strange reason, this normally doesn't work, and i don't know why. It makes perfect sense to me!

But what really ticks me off is when my mother asks me to make my bed! "WHY? I'm just gunna sleep in it again tonight!" Luckily, I have found the PERFECT solution to this problem. Put a sleeping bag over your bed, and sleep in that every night! I hate sheets anyway! They're just annoying!

thank you for listening!

## Adults against myspace (from the same user as the previous entry)

Myspace.... I dont understand why schools are now going online to check and see if their students have myspaces. How is it any of their buisness?! Its fine that they want them to be safe and everything, but isnt that the parents job? Schools are getting much too personal these days! Honestly, if a student put up a suggestive picture of themself on myspace, why should the teachers even be looking at that anyway? Why do they care so much? Let the parents handle it! Kids are controlled enough at school as it is. They dont need to be controlled through the computer by their teachers as well. It's fine if teachers want to talk to kids about safety on the internet and myspace, but they have NO right to tell kids they can't use it. It's a free country for god's sake! Checking if a student has a myspace is like going through a teachers personal file. If they can check our myspaces, i want to see their personal file! They have no right to just barge in and look at kids myspaces, and sometimes delete them, even if they are public. No matter how safe a child is being when they use it, teachers are against it! I have no problem with schools not letting students log in on school computers, but at home, let us do what we want for a change!If anybody can help me understand why people are so controlling about this subject, please let me know!

## Vince DiCola

Vince DiCola is a demigod in control of the Rock! dimension, created when almighty Thor's hammer collided with Eddie Van Halen's guitar in their epic battle for control of the Balkan Peninsula. His feet have never touched the ground, instead he travels on a magnificent, snow white stallion that he commands with his electric guitar that he summons from the very ether itself! His day's begin early with a shower of pure Columbian cocaine and a vigorous brushing of his teeth with Cabo Wabo gold. He spends his days recording the greatest music to ever grace the ears of God or man and simply deletes it before he goes to bed late in the evening. He rules the Rock! dimension from a tower of guitars, all taken from opponents he's faced in countless "Intergalactic Rock! Off Challenges/Laser Light Show Spectacular". Needless to say, he is the living embodiment of all things Metal, Rock!, and technological genius. His grace will save us all. Amen.

My history teacher Mr. Kuhn hates Myspace...

## From Succubus

Succubi have also been reported as enthusiasts of the popular cereal, Smacks.

## From the History of Great Village, Nova Scotia

"The vessel 'Hopewell' and it's sister ship "Donewell" with Irish settlers reached Halifax, October 9, 1761, and landed passengers where they remained over the winter. It was a long boring winter, one so boring, it was believed to spawn the human race's first homosexuals. Early next spring arrangements were made to hire a vessel to take the homosexual people to the 'District of Cockquid' where the best lands and greatest quantities of wet men in that part of the country were assigned to them, and furnished them with provisions out of the Provincial Funds.

## The Brady Bunch 35th Anniversary Reunion Special: Still Brady After All These Years

Yes, it was 35 years later, and the Brady's were...well, they were still Brady. You know... Apparently there was a TV show based around this, in a last-ditch effort to cash in on the former, long-lost success of the wacky and embarassing Tv family from the 70's with the same name. Yes, there was an anniversary show for the Brady's - 35 years later. Nobody watched it.

## From Death metal

Today it has been reduced to what many call loud disgusting noise. Most of these artists have little to no skill on the guitar, followed by a dual-base drummer, and the perpetual screaming, moaning lead singer. If one wishes to recreate these sounds, one must simply grunt and smash a loud object.

## From Australian Magpie

It is claimed by others that if we systematically shot the magpies that swoop, then eventually this selection pressure would result in a subspecies that doesn't do it. Magpies are, however, and regrettably, a protected species.

Magpies are communicative birds and it is said that if you talk to your local magpies on a regular basis (instead of systematically shooting them in an attempt to create some sort of non-swooping magpie subspecies), they will get to know you, and will not swoop, as they recognise you as part of their magpie clan.

## From Green Day

More recently, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher has criticized the song "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" for ripping off his own song "Wonderwall". Gallagher stated, "If you listen, you'll find it is exactly the same arrangement as Wonderwall. They should have the decency to wait until I am dead (before stealing my songs). I, at least, pay the people I steal from that courtesy. They consider themselves to be - and I quote - 'a kick-ass rock 'n' roll band'. They could not be less kick-ass if they tried." [1] Oasis, of course, is better known by their other band name: "We Wish We Were The Beatles."

## from: Nigga-Me

Nigga me is a bum that wanders the freeport streets with a vast amount of items. He usually goes from house to house, steals garbage and then redeems it for vouchers at local supermarkets. Rumor has it that he lives in a great facility, but others say they see him sleeping in the randall park dugouts.

## PALS search for the jade monkey

Cast:

Lee Miller - Ricky

Matthew Keir - Stephen

Keren Gillies - Beth

Hannah Spurr - Samantha

Tag line: There're more than friends... They're PALS

The Jade Monkey has been stolen from the British Museum and it's up to a group of four friends to get it back. When the Cardboard Box Company gets taken over by French-Canadian entrepreneur Jean Claude le Deux, Ricky must pack up and move offices. However, he overhears his new boss talking about 'Le Phasme' and monkeys. When a note gets put under the door of Ricky and Stephen's apartment, the PALS go to find out more. They get dragged into a secret world by Special Agent Pratt and sent undercover to spy on Jean Claude. Will they succeed in their mission or will they end up tired?!?!

## From Banglighting

Banglighting is a sexual practice where a lightbulb has to explode before the couple have sex. It is widely claimed that the bang makes it sexy. It is similar to balloon fetishism, and is widely popular with porn stars in the United States and Canada.

Justin Berry was rumoured to have made it popular: and Princess Superstar claims it is good for your sex life.

The practice was invented in Stockport in 1987 by Annika Mason and Joanne DeVeres, a lesbian couple.

## Fidel Castro

From Reference Desk/Humanities

Why is not shown that Fidel Castro was born in Honduras?

Do you have any evidence for this? User:Zoe|(talk) 03:43, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Why Fidel Castro is not shown that he was born in Honduras?

Because he wasn't born in Honduras. He was born on a sugar plantation in what is now the Holguín Province of Cuba. Bhumiya (said/done) 06:08, 20 January 2007 (UTC)
To be precise, he was born on August 13 1926, on a sugar plantation in Birán, near Mayari in Holguín, then part of Oriente province. What on earth gave you the idea he was born in Honduras? Are you perhaps confusing this with Holguin? Clio the Muse 09:09, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

¿Why is not shown that Fidel was a baseball pitcher? (El Mundo, November 28, 1946. University of Havana. Pitcher: F. Castro) If his fastball and curveball had been better would he have played for the Yankees or Senators? Edison 07:06, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Castro wasn't a great baseball player. He was a decent school player and a big fan of the sport. But most of the rumours of his prowess are based on an urban myth which has him trying out for New York Yankees. [4] As for him being born in Honduras.... what?--Zleitzen 10:21, 20 January 2007 (UTC)
I thought it was the Washington Senators. User:Zoe|(talk) 04:48, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
Cincinnati Reds would have made more sense. Although actually in the 1950s the Reds briefly changed their name to the Redlegs to avoid being confused with those other Reds... Herostratus 06:40, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
Maybe he was holding out for the team to change its name to the "Cincinnati Agrarian Reformers." Edison 02:13, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

## From French Fries

They kill people, don't eats some greezy food.

- (Editor's note: Hey, as long as we have a reference to Heinz, we might as well put some reference to french fries in here)

## High Velocity Energy Cable

A High Velocity Energy Cable (HVEC) is a multipurpose cable designed to act as either a very fast network cable, or as a "wildcard" cable which can act as any other cable with the help of an adaptor. High Velocity Energy Cable's also come in a programmable version (PHVEC) which is capable of translating between cable types.

File:Main hvec small.jpg
A Programmable High Velocity Energy Cable

### Types of HVEC

There are two types of HVEC, Standard HVEC, and Programmable HVEC (PHVEC). Standard HVEC can be used for HVEC Networking and as a wildcard cable. PHVEC can also be used to translate between different cable types. All HVEC's require adaptors to allow them to plug in to other cable types (except for HVEC Networking). Standard HVEC's are orange in colour, whilst Programmable HVEC's are silver in colour.

### HVEC Networking

File:NetHVEC.jpg
Net-HVEC logo

HVEC's have their own standard for networking, called Net-HVEC, which is capable of speeds up to 1 terabit. Net-HVEC doesn't require any adaptors, but it does require equipment that supports Net-HVEC. Currently, such devices are rare; however their numbers are growing. Net-HVEC is becoming more popular as network backbone infrastructure due to its speed and vector based digital reciprocal error correction And detection projection methods.

### How a HVEC works

Diagram of a High Velocity Energy Cable

A HVEC has a HVEC microchip at each end of the cable. These microchips handle the network error correction, and the signal translation tasks.

In Net-HVEC mode the microchip only has to deal with error correction; each Microchip handles the data it receives coming in to its end of the cable.

In Standard HVEC adaptor mode, the microchips remain virtually unused, as the adaptors convert the native cable signal to HVEC signal and vice versa. Standard HVEC adaptor mode requires the adaptors at both end of the cable to be the same.

In Programmable HVEC adaptor mode, the microchips perform signal translation. For example, if you have an IDE hard drive that you wish to use a USB drive, you would connect the USB adaptor to one end (end 1) and the IDE adaptor to the other end (end 2). After programming the PHVEC with the relevant information it will use the PHVEC Translation Processing Modules of the PHVEC Microchip to perform signal translations. Signals coming from the IDE hard drive will be read by the IDE adaptor and translated into HVEC-IDE Hybrid Signal which will be read by the end 2 PHVEC Microchip and converted into USB-HVEC Hybrid Signal, which will be sent down the PHVEC cable and be read by the end 1 PHVEC Microchip and passed on to the USB Adaptor. The USB will convert the HVEC-USB hybrid signal into USB signal and will send it along the USB cable to the PC. This process works in more or less the same way for signals travelling from the PC to the IDE hard drive except that the End 1 PHVEC Microchip does the translating. The Microchip that didn't translate the signal reads it at the other end for purposes of keeping track of the signals being sent for Quality Assurance And Best Effort Signal Pre-Determination Efficiency Approach Combination Matching.

### Programming a HVEC

File:PHVEC Util.GIF
PHVEC Programming Utility

Programmable High Velocity Energy Cables need to know what type of adaptor and device is on each end of the cable so that it can translate the signals corrctly. PHVEC's have a cross-platform programming utility which allows it to be programmed.

### Older Versions

The current version of HVEC is version 3, which supports 1 terabit per second data transfer and is identifiable by its silver plugs. Version 2 supported 50 gigabit per second data transfer and had black plugs. Version 1 supported 10 gigabit per second data transfer and had green plugs.

### Other information

HVEC's are only sold by certain suppliers, mainly due to their cost, which is approximately US$2000 for a HVEC and US$4000 for a PHVEC. They all come with manuals and every adaptor available at the time of purchase, whilst PHVEC's also come with a programming utility. They can all be flashed to comply with the latest adaptors.