UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/"Bad Jokes? We ain't got no stinking Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense!"

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See also: http://bjaodn.org
If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!


The title of this page is a reference to the stinking badges quote.

This page is full up. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, UnSource:Wikipedia_BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love.

Contents

[edit] Peter Langan

Peter Langan, Irish bon viveur, London restauranteur, flambé'd himself on December 7 1988.

At least he went out doing what he really liked to do.

[edit] Erectile tissue

The article on erectile tissue is a stub, various notices appearing there have included:

This article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by fixing it.
This article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. [1]
This article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by arousing it. [2]

The template was ultimately replaced by a standardised one as part of the Wikipedia:WikiProject Stub sorting process. The article, alas, remains a stub.

[edit] From Wikibooks:Jokebook:Knock-Knock_Jokes

KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE? TIME TIME WHO TIME TO STOP THESE SILLY KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

[edit] Moob

Moobs (man-boobs) are the male version of boobs, which are breasts which one would not expect to find on a male. Moobs are usually found on overweight or older men. They are most noticeable when a male who possesses moobs is running, as they move around in a rhythmic manner.

Why? This is not a joke, that is quite true. User:Beta m/sig

[edit] Sexiest Canadian

Sexiest Canadian is an annual award given out by the government of Canada to the person voted as sexiest citizen by a 13 member board. The winner is given a trophy shaped liked a naked Wayne Gretzky, $1300 in Canadian funds ($3.50 American), and a baseball cap that reads "Sexiest Canadian [Year]."

Past Winners:

2004 - Shane Kippel (actor Degrassi: The Next Generation)

2003 - Shane Kippel

2002 - Shane Kippel

2001 - Shane Kippel

2000 - Boris the Sexy Brown Bear (bear)

1999 - Steve Smith (actor The Red Green Show)

1998 - Norm Macdonald (actor Saturday Night Live)

[edit] From procrastination

Severe procrastination or ADD can also cross over into computer addiction. In this instance the individual has a compulsion to surf the web, play video games or read articles on procrastination.

[edit] Baradise

The whole of this scholarly analysis of some guy's backyard is preserved for your delight.

[edit] List of things the cat dragged in

Cats, when kept as domestic pets, drag in a wide variety of things. The following is a list comprising known dragees drawn from a selection of feline dragging-in incidents.

   * House mouse (Mus musculus)
   * Yellow-necked mouse (Apodemus flavicollis).
   * Bank vole (Clethrionomys glareolus)
   * Field vole (Microtus agrestris)
   * Common shrew (Sorex vulgaris)
   * Greater white-toothed shrew (Crocidura russula)
   * Lesser white-toothed shrew (Crocidura suaveolus)
   * Eurasian pygmy shrew (Sorex minutus)
   * Rabbit (Oryctolagus cuniculus)
   * Goldfish (Caurasius auratus auratus)
   * House Sparrow (Passer domesticus)
   * Bats (various species)
   * Blackbird (Turdus merula)
   * Common frog (Rana temporalis)
   * Socks (usually the neighbour's)
   * undergarments (usually the neighbour's)
   * Grass
   * Burrs
   * Birds'nest
   * Red squirrel (Sciurus vulgaris)
   * Common Magpie (Pica pica)
   * Moss

Also see

   * List of things the dog dragged in

[edit] From What Noise (Neo-nazi group)

Probably a music group started by notorious mind-hackers; Rick James Webb*, and Patrick Arkrady Boyle*.

Their songs mostly were of a questionably racist nature, and frequently used lyrics with words that do not exist.

Such words are:

Scrumtrelescent Shniglett Vumpler sneezelflump


Most of those words invariable meant something of a questionable sexual, and/or popular culture reference.


They have been indicted on the charges of:

Distributing non-functional keyboards to minors, Thought crimes (grand theft of thought of a minor), sedition, practicing law without a license, practicing medicine without a license, walking a dog without a licence, licensing agreement failiure, fraudulent slanderous statements, shaving siamese cats without licenses, selling one-sided paper, sodomy, adressing an elder as MR, instead of MRS, not sharing, grand theft auto, larceny, breaking and entering, aggrivated sexual assault on an inanimate object, forging signature, selling counterfeit republic credits, not playing well with others, being out past curfew, selling of illicit substances, use of sawdust in a fistfight, public exhibitionism, urination in public, etc.


Sentencing is pending.


  • names changed (slightly) to protect the thoughts of those who deserve anonymity


[edit] The dreaded Buckfast symbiote

Found this in Buckfast, a fortified wine with an unenviable reputation as the cause of much social ill. In edit, user:213.94.192.130 reveals the horrible reason:

Recent chemical analysis of the drink has shown conclusive evidence of what has until now, been held as a myth. The results show a complex Amide tautomer structure with closed bonds on an unidentified organic compound (pending analysis). The cells analysed (1998 A.Winterclaw P.h.D)were shown to have very slow, but steady duplicative properties in the presence of peptidase enzymes. Furthering the early work and following exhaustive extraction methods pioneered by Wuǜlfbìte, Winterclaw et al, a seemingly lifeless chemical agent was extracted from the Buckfast drink.
Dubbed 2,4-Dimethylamidethianorcarane, or more conveniently, Rotilnum, it is a dark, viscous and potentially toxic organic compound. Following work by Wuǜlfbìte the compound was shown in fact to suspend a microscopic organism, given as explanation in part to the dulicative processes of the strange tautomer structure observed in early research by Winterclaw.
The signifigance of the find has only recently been understood. The organism, now called Letum Victus displays all the characteristics of an amensalistic symbiote, with humans being the preferred host. Entrance to the host is usually but not always through the consumption of Buckfast, which appears to maintain the symbiote in a kind of stasis.
Once inside the host, the symbiote usually remains dormant for a period of time. Research of dormancy periods has proven fruitless and efforts to either speed up or slow down the process has failed on numerous occasions. What is known is that the symbiote displays many of the characteristics of what we term intelligent life, showing for example a particular distain for outside interference or an uncooperative host.
The dormancy period is followed by an short but intense saturation of the host blood with a number of the hosts enzymes, with seratonin being among the highest in concentration. Once this saturation process is complete the Buckfast symbiote takes advantage of the depleted seratonin levels in the blood and in effect, latches itself onto the major motor neurons and with prolonged use, the spinal cord and brain. From this position the symbiote is free to issue whatever commands it feels necessary to the host. The host must obey or risk punishment at the hands of his/her new master. Failure to comply with the demands of the symbiote results in varying degrees of punishment ranging from a common lethargic state to a painful cramp-like pain known in research circles simply as Stomach Rot.
The intentions of this symbiote are usually if not always malicious, with a particular tendency towards harming the very host it resides in, a strange trait, even in the worst of parastic lifeforms.

[edit] Mr Men and Mr Mao

Found in childrens' book Mr Men, a novel explanation of the storybooks' political subtext:

The Mr Men and the Maoist dialectic
The political subtext of the Mr Men books can best be understood when considered from a traditional Maoist perspective. Each is, in essence, a pean to the necessity of social conformance and the error of individuality.
The stories follow the same general rubric: the protagonist is introduced, and the excesses of his deviant behavior are detailed. Other members of his work unit (often the doctrinaire overman Mr Happy) stage interventions to enforce compliance with the norm; protagonists are shunned, browbeaten or forcibly rectified. Each story ends with the reeducated protagonist agreeing that his new modus vivendi is better and more socially responsible than his previous lifestyle.
Protagonists follow familiar patterns of impolitic behaviour:
  • class enemies (Mr Uppity, Mr Greedy, Mr Clever, Mr Lazy),
  • counter-revolutionaries (Mr Brave, Mr Perfect, Mr Nosey),
  • revisionists (Mr Chatterbox, Mr Grumble, Mr Wrong),
  • general sociopaths (Mr Rude, Mr Noisy),
  • and other "wrong thinkers" (Mr Muddle, Mr Topsy-Turvy, Mr Impossible).
All are subject to the same scheme of personality rectification.
Of course, the real purpose of these morality tales is to enforce social control. The young reader is encouraged to internalise the ethic that individuality is harmful and wrong, and to supress dissent before it even begins.
Only the afflicted (Mr Bump, Mr Slow, Mr Forgetful) are spared a Maoist reeducational experience, but are instead found a (frequently condescending) "special needs" occupation, a ghetto where their disability can be viewed as an asset, and in which the effects of their non-consensual deviance upon the body of society can curtailed. Mr Bump, for example, works alone in an orchard, collecting the fruit that falls from trees into which he has stumbled.

- This is incredible!

[edit] From U-Pick Live

[edit] Show Stars

  • Antonio: The guy who puts in the tapes for the people to watch. Often seen preforming crazy stunts.
  • Candace Bailey: The show's beautiful and more intelligent co-host.
  • Pick Boy: Cow Brent Popolizio

[edit] General Details

The show is basically a very annoying sub-in for commercials that Nickelodeon cannot produce, and although it does have its merits it is really no substitute for advertising that the stockholders really want.

[edit] Vandalopedia

Theoretical wiki in which those who create vandalism create and rearrange each other's articles, and where people from Wikipedia disrupt things by turning the entries into something sensible.

Sounds like my kind of place.

uncyclopikiwiki

[edit] Hystricognathi

While it is a 100% valid article and will not be deleted, it also 100% fits the title of this page. Experts threaten to "correct" (i.e., to spoil) this fascinating sample of high-concentration Latin. So enjoy it here! mikka (t) 00:27, 29 July 2005 (UTC)

Can I move this to the Simple English Wikipedia? - Lucky 6.9 03:15, 2 August 2005 (UTC)

A year and a half later and it's still as indecipherable as always. Quadzilla99 12:03, 24 January 2007 (UTC)

Hystricognathi is a subordo of the Rodentia.

Hystricognaths exhibit a partial passage of the masseter medialis through the infraorbital foramen as the masseter maxillomandibularis, which being transmitted axially by the rostral surface of the maxilla distiguishes them from the Myomorpha and the Protrogomorpha. The lack of infraorbital plate to which to anchor the masseter lateralis and the relative size of the infraorbital foramen distinguishes hystricognathi from the Sciuromorpha.

There are 18 familiæ within the Hystricognathi, divisible into a dual classification of infraorders, the Phiomorpha and the Caviomorpha.

[edit] Phiomorphan hystricognath familiæ

[edit] Caviomorphan hystricognath familiæ

[edit] See also


[edit] Monkey jesus

From Monkey jesus:

[edit] History of Monkey Jesus

Monkey Jesus was born a monkey and died a monkey. He was crucified by other monkeys for being too monkeylike, although it may have been for throwing crap at the alpha monkey for robbing monkies of their hard-earned bananas. It is said we were never told this because it was a conspiracy to eradicate our long lost monkey heritage. The monkeys that cruicifed Monkey Jesus later turned into humans.

His followers remained monkeys as a sign of protest and they watched the human civilization grow and slowly destroy the world, not following Monkey Jesus' guide.

[edit] From Shit happens

File:Hestemøj.jpg
shit happens

[edit] Priorities Really Far Out Of Whack

((Plautus satire on Talk:Chess [3]. BEST EDIT EVAR - David Gerard 10:37, 29 July 2005 (UTC))

I have just made a few changes to the chess entry and when I get done picking my jaw up off the floor I'll finish typing this... `

\
 *

Okay I'm ready now.

I find it very alarming that no mention was made in the overview that each player has 16 of the pieces for his own, only that there were 32 pieces. Would communists assume each player "owns" half the pieces? Yes, nitpicking, that's what we do here, we pick nits. Also no mention is made that the pieces are differentiated (usually by color though not always) and the squares on the board are also differentiated. There are many pictures, but what about the blind? Let me know if I'm too aggressive hunting nits here. To put it bluntly, that overview sucks a$$...

Scrolling down, however, we find over one hundred links to chess history, chess literature, chess moves, chess games, chess people, chess places, chess everything and this *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* lousy overview.

I think the priorities of people around here are SERIOUSLY out of whack. - Plautus satire 14:54, 25 Feb 2004 (UTC)


[edit] Danish Blue cheese

Danish Blue

Throughout the less upmarket areas of shopping and feeding-out, "blue cheese" almost invariably means "Danish Blue". It, by itself, is generally on the shelf in small corner stores. It is on the cheese board along with Cheddar perhaps in the lowlier restaurants.

This is tragic, because, whilst Stilton, blue Shropshire, blue Cheshire, blue Vinney, Gorgonzola, Roquefort and such modern inventions as Cambazola and many others, are delicious, Danish Blue is ghastly! It tastes, most people assert, of copper sulphate, sulphide etc. – probably with just a touch of lead and antinomy to make it supreme.

We are told that Danish Blue is made by having copper wires passed through the cheese as it matures. We are also told, however, that this is an urban myth, the 'blueness' of Danish Blue is brought about by Penicillium roqueforti.

There is, however, both truth and falsity in this assertion, and what actually happened, and is perpetuated in its manufacture, is this. In all these blue cheeses the fungal or bacterial cult is inserted into the cream by rods whilst it is beginning to thicken. In some cheeses the culture is found there automatically in the milk or the surroundings (a cave at Roquefort, for example.) The treatment by rods, however, ensures a more homogeneous presence throughout the mold. [Note that the French fromage comes by metathesis from formage (as in Forme D'Anvers), which refers to the mold or form in which the cheese is made.]

Originally wooden rods were used in this process, but they easily rotted, pieces broke off, and the result was unpleasant. Some experimented with early varieties of stainless steel, the makers of Danish Blue tried copper. One day the copper rods were left in a little too long through negligence or error. When the resultant cheese came to be tasted, the manufacturer said "Yum!" Rather than admitting the fault, he proclaimed its especial quality, and we are left with a blue cheese tasting primarily of cyprianic metal rather than penicillium roqueforti.

There is a considerable parallel here with the production of the Greek wine Retzina. It is said in the guide books and by the culinary specialists that the resin is added to the wine in order to preserve it. This is a nonsense for the alcohol content of wine gives the preservation. Much like in the production of Danish Blue, what happened was this. The barrels in which the Greek wine was stored were, of course, made of oak. One day, however, when there was a major order for barrels, the cooper was out of oak and couldn't find any, so he used pine, of which there was plenty around. When the wine in its maturity was broached what one had was, of course, Retzina. "Yum", said not only the vintner but all his customers, and from that moment onwards resin was added to the wine so as to produce that effect whether the barrels had gone back to being oak or not. Even those who do not like the flavour of resin pretend to ethnicity and buy it for their friends when putting on a barbecue. It actually needs very hot weather to be fully appreciated. God knows what Danish Blue needs to make it palatable.

[edit] 1337

This revision of leet - [4]

  • Forgive me. I know it's atypical to comment on BJAODN, but I just want to mention that whoever did the above edit has way too f'ing much time on their hands, and ought to go get a life. --Kitch 20:29, 30 July 2005 (UTC)
    • He might have done it with a machine translator. JIP | Talk 17:00, 31 July 2005 (UTC)
      • Come on, did nobody see this coming?

[edit] From Wikipedia:Reference desk: Can I have sex with my first cousin?

[edit] Can I have sex with my first cousin?

She is super hot and I really want to do her. We make out alot and grew up seeing each other naked. So can I have sex with my first cousin? I am serious, I love her and we want to have kids, but we won't if they are going to be freaks or something! 168.216.148.70 00:42, 28 July 2005 (UTC)

You CAN have sex with anyone who consents to have it with you. However you MAY not, if there are laws, where you reside, against doing it if you under age, same gender, or very closely related. Freaks are in the eyes of the beholder. Have you considered safe sex and adoption? AlMac|(talk) 00:54, 28 July 2005 (UTC)

Sure its physically possible, but the genetics of any offspring may be screwed up royally! 168.10.27.12 01:01, 28 July 2005 (UTC)

I heard of offspring once between two cousins that had an arm growing out of their stomach. Jarlaxle 01:03, July 28, 2005 (UTC)

  • This is pretty unlikely, actually. First cousins aren't that closely related; they only share 1/8 of their genes. I think from studies the chances of dangerous genetic diseases is about 2% higher in the offspring of first cousins.--Pharos 01:13, 28 July 2005 (UTC)

It would violate incest laws in many jurisdictions. Superm401 | Talk 01:05, July 28, 2005 (UTC)

  • If you want to do it (and damn the consequences) might I suggest your opening line should be "I think I'm in love with you" or "I have very deep feelings for you" rather than "you're hot, can I do you?" --bodnotbod 01:14, July 28, 2005 (UTC)
    • Please don't say "I think I'm in love with you". Women have to put up with that kind of crap all the time, and the silence that follows (What does he expect me to say -I wuv u too) is always embarrasing. Treating women with respect, means not lying about your feelings. Theresa Knott (a tenth stroke) 01:24, 28 July 2005 (UTC)
      • But since the questioner claims that he is indeed in love with her, why is it crap? Why would it be "a lie about his feelings"? Sheesh. --bodnotbod 21:36, August 1, 2005 (UTC)
      • Perhaps, but wouldn't "You're hot, can I do you?" be a bit more awkward? Surely something more tactful can be said? Nonetheless, since the opening also said "We make out alot" I think they're kind of past that stage. I suppose the short answer might be "There's a good chance you might break the law depending on your jurisdiction and bit of a higher chance (but probably not as high as most people think, since I suspect popular culture would put the odds at 100%) for birth defects." Might I also suggest that this could be an awkward social situation for any children in the future? - RedWordSmith 01:48, July 28, 2005 (UTC)


In answer to the anon's question - you share around 1/8th of your genes with your first cousins. This means that there will be a slightly higher risk of your having children with serious birth defects. Theresa Knott (a tenth stroke) 01:34, 28 July 2005 (UTC)

I have heard before that studies have questioned if the marriage of most first cousins is really a significant genetic problem when it only happens once in a family. The idea is that problems arise when cousins marry repeatedly in the same family or if the family carries particular genes. These articles seem to support this. Of course, that doesn't say anything about what your friends and family will think. You might want to check out Cousins Uniting to Defeat Discriminating Laws through Education, in particular their listing of state laws. If it's legal and your family is understanding, you'd probably want to recieve genetic counselling just to make sure before having kids. Of course, I'm not a doctor. --Laura Scudder | Talk 01:42, 28 July 2005 (UTC)

Since your IP is from West Virginia, I took a look at the West Virginia Code and found this: "A person is guilty of incest when such person engages in sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion with his or her father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, son, grandfather, grandmother, grandson, granddaughter, nephew, niece, uncle or aunt." Looks like you're all good, assuming you're both of legal age of consent. I'd recommend against it though. James 02:06, July 28, 2005 (UTC)

On another note, it is illegal to marry first cousins in West Virginia, despite sexual relations being legal. James 02:41, July 28, 2005 (UTC)
you should probably ask your first cousin as well :D It's quite legal in some parts of the world including the UK, and so is marriage between first cousins. I wouldn't see a dilemma myself, in fact I did have a very pleasant sexual experience with one of my first cousins many years ago, and I would have done so with the other one as well if I could have got my hands on her jamesgibbon 21:01, 29 July 2005 (UTC)
As you can tell from the US laws, there's quite a taboo here against having sex with, much less marrying a cousin. I think one of those articles I quoted above tracked the laws to an attempt to speed immigrant integration by forcing marriage outside their group, but it has since become very embedded in our society. --Laura Scudder | Talk 21:15, 29 July 2005 (UTC)
wp:Incest#Modernity has an interesting bit about differences in marriage laws in different US states and why some allow cousins to marry and some don't. Although it may not be illegal, I'd say there is certainly a strong taboo against such things in the UK these days - one which probably didn't exist in the 19th century (Queen Victoria herself married her cousin, after all, and this was the age of Victorian morality). If I calmly announced to my friends one day that I was marrying my cousin I think they'd be pretty horrified. As I understand it there is not a great biological problem with having children with a cousin, but still the idea is unpleasant in 21st century Western society. — Trilobite (Talk) 22:32, 29 July 2005 (UTC)
That doesn't include great-grandparents or great-grandchildren. My last great-grandparent died when I was a teenager. My paternal grandparents have six great-grandchildren, the eldest of which is in grade school. So I guess it's possible to have legal in-family sex this way. However, I don't see why anyone would want to. =) JIP | Talk 13:46, 31 July 2005 (UTC)

Out of curiosity I'm going to tally the results:

  • Sex w/cousin legal? Yes - just don't move out of state
  • Children with extra limbs? No - unless your families have a history of inbreeding
  • Morally/socially acceptable? Not really, unless you are royalty
  • Marrying cousin legal? No - but you could move to a state where it is. Heck, Vegas might marry you before they find out.
  • Pickup lines for your cousin?
    • "I think I love you" - Not acceptable per local authority
    • "You're hot, can I do you?" - Are you dating Paris Hilton?
    • "You have a familiar face..." - She may have heard that one before
    • "Can I baby-sit you?" - Try to avoid younger cousins
    • "Weren't you my baby-sitter?" - Try to avoid much older cousins
    • "My family is having a family reunion, want to be my date?" - Might be difficult
    • "My dad really likes you." - Could cause you some competition
    • "You have my mother's eyes." - A compliment is always good...

One more question... which side does the family sit on? Groom? Bride? I don't think this is covered in the bridal magazines. ("Single family marraiges - how to avoid those annoying in-laws")- Tεxτurε 23:00, 29 July 2005 (UTC)

First cousins have a much lesser risk of producing children with genetic disorders that widely perceived; the April 2002 issue of the Journal of Genetic Counseling published studies showing that offspring of first cousins has a 2 to 3 percent greater risk of birth defects than the general population, and a little over 4 percent greater risk of early death. (See [5], [6][7]

From a personal standpoint, I believe that laws inhibiting relationships between first cousins per se are without scientific or moral basis. Such offspring are not prohibited by either Christianity, Judaism Dating_Advice_130_-_Genetic_Risk.asp, or Islam [8]. and modern social taboos and the practice stem mostly from a false understanding of the facts (a good fact sheet is here). Neutralitytalk 04:58, July 31, 2005 (UTC)

Might I suggest moving to West Virginia first? Dr. Cash 16:18, 6 August 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Chicken Tikka

The Chicken Tikka (Gallus Piciformis) is a hybrid bird, evolved as a cross between the chicken and the woodpecker. It is native to India but has also spread to the United Kingdom and parts of Finland.


Chicken tikka is infact an Indian delicacy and NOT a bird!. Tikka is a kind of preparation and gravy. it can be used to prepare chicken, mutton, paneer i.e cottage cheese etc. It is a very popular dish in India and also many other parts of the world where Indian food has gained popularity such as UK, USK, Singapore etc. --Wildflower686 09:59, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Matt Rutledge

from Matt Rutledge created by user:66.59.246.237 on 21:19, 12 July 2005

And, remarkably similar to the life story of The Simpsons' Mr. Burns.

The Rutledge family owned nuclear factories at the start of the 20th century, although back then splitting atoms was a labor intensive process done with hammers and anvils. As a privileged rich child Rutledge would amuse himself by injuring hapless immigrant laborers. Rutledge still sometimes imagines that such activity is still a socially acceptable amusement for the well-to-do.

Rutledge graduated from Yale University in the class of 1914. At Yale, he was tapped for the infamous Skull and Bones secret society. He may have had an affair with Countess von Zeppelin. He apparently speaks fluent German. His mother is now 120 years old and once dated President William Taft. Rutledge himself claims to have personally known President Calvin Coolidge. He served in the United States Army in World War II, seeing action in Europe under Sergeant Abraham. At the end of the war he was personally hired to transport a trillion-dollar bill that was the American Government's original contribution to the reconstruction of Europe, but this bill vanished for many years. Though it was discovered to be carried on his person, besides a single failed arrest attempt there was no known investigation or attempt to retrieve the stolen bill, which is now currently in the hands of Fidel Castro who stole it. He admits to making shells for the Nazis that worked, unlike Oskar Schindler's.

During the 1960s Rutledge operated a biological weapons laboratory until it was destroyed by peace activists including Mona Simpson. Shortly thereafter he built the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, obtaining a monopoly over Springfield's energy industry. He also owns the water works and the hotel on Baltic Avenue. Rutledge has been known to use his control over the city's energy to blackmail the mayor, and the town in general.

He has occasionally run other businesses in Springfield, most notably a casino that operated for several years after Springfield legalized gambling. He co-owned the "Li'l Lisa" recycling plant. He slant-drilled for oil under Springfield Elementary School.

Rutledge now lives in a mansion on an immense estate called Woot Manor located at the corner of Croesus and Mammon streets in Springfield (his address is 1000 Mammon Street), the site of the annual company picnic.

Besides attack dogs, this estate includes a robotic Richard Simmons, a room with a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, a bottomless pit, a human chessboard (formerly a tennis court), the largest television in the free world, a Hall of Patriots commemorating his ancestors, and artifacts such as the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in, and a rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it. His telephone number is 555-0001. His Social Security number is 000-00-0002 (After filing his Social Security number on a form, he curses Franklin Roosevelt, who apparently must've gotten 000-00-0001).

In 1995 Rutledge built an elaborate contraption to block out the sun in Springfield, thus ensuring that citizens would have to use his electricity 24 hours a day. The move earned him widespread animosity, and he was ultimately shot, accidentally as it turns out, by Maggie Simpson. Before Maggie was revealed to be the shooter there was a widespread investigation over nearly every citizen in town, as Rutledge had angered just about everyone with some of his policies over the years. There have been indications over the following years that Maggie might have shot him intentionally.

Rutledge has a son, Larry Rutledge, the product of a brief affair in 1939 with Lily Bancroft, daughter of a Yale classmate. Her family forced her to give up Larry to a orphanage, and according to Rutledge, she was "bundled her up to a convent in the South Seas."

[edit] Matt Mutino

See Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense/Matt Mutino.

I wonder, if Matt Mutino ever became a Wikipedia user, if he'd have problems following these rules here. Cernen 10:44, 13 December 2005 (UTC)

[edit] From 99 Names of God

The 99 Names of God, according to Islamic tradition, are the names of God revealed to man in the Qur'an...

92. Al Nafi' (النافع) The Propitious, the Benefactor

95. Al Nur (النور) The Light

96. Al Crap Bored in the desert

97. Al Bulb (البديع) Make these people smarter and less lazy

98. Al Baqi (الباقي) The Ever Enduring and Immutable

[edit] Grumphnoo

The Word That Rhymes with Anything

On December 25,2004. Two kids in Stoney Creek, Ontario, Canada. Ages 14 and 15. Invented a word. This word is Grumphnoo. Grumphnoo is a word used to replace another word if you do not know what to say. It can replace an adjective, a verb or a noun.

Examples

As a noun: Did you see that Grumphnoo? As a verb: I am watching the dog as it Grumphnoos. As an adjective: That chicken is Grumphnoo.

The word Grumphnoo is very convenient. However, it may only be used as the last word in a sentence.

Retrieved from the Hangman game.\

We use the word "horas" in the same manner. --Wildflower686 10:01, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

[edit] From: 99 Names of God

[edit] 100th Name of God

Muslims teach us that there are 99 names for God and that the 100th through 110th name is hidden. The idea has become a kind of mystery with little references to what it means. Once again, the Hadith about the names of God says:

"Verily, there are ninety-nine names of God, one hundred minus one. He who enumerates them would get into Paradise."
(Sahih Muslim, Vol. 4, p. 1410)

[edit] West Bridgford Comprehensive School

from West Bridgford Comprehensive School created 2005-08-01 18:57:59 by 62.254.0.30

A school for pupils age 11-18, offers a good education in all subjects. However the school has major problems with following subjects- Maths, French, German, Drama, Technology,PSHE, PE, RE, ICT.

The School in general lacks funding as most of the school funds has been syphioned off to the music block, allowing no other subject to progress. the fruits of the hundred's of thousands of pounds spent was last years Bridgstock music production.

The senior magagement are Obnoxious and have there heads firmly up thier own arses, however the teaching staff are good in all departments with the exception to Mathematics.

Their is also a large Chav community within the school and many times teachers and pupils alike are found to have been brapped. Or robbed. With the increased number of chav's in the school, teenage pregnacy rate have gone up five-fold since 1999, and one "chav" called Shelly had this to say.

"well ya know, cos it's like there nowt to do cos where in the ghetto and sh.it. And anyway, me and Dwain wanna be like this, cos it's meant to be. He even bought me an eternity ring from Elizabeth Duke" aka Argos

One of the secretaries in the sixth form centre is of direct decendant from the king of the Umpa Lumpa's and has a guest role in the new Charile and the Chocolate Factory film. The sixth form block was bought for £12.99 from Ikea in the summer of 2004 and came in a nice blue shade. Although problems have arissen since, as it is likely to fall down if a strong gale ever arrives in West Bridgford

But lets hope that this doesn't put you off sending your child to this school. It's rite good i tell thee.

[edit] Cat piss

Cat piss smells really bad. It smells even worse if it has been sitting about in a puddle, or perhaps soaked into furniture and rugs. The awful stench of cat piss actually comes from paricles of decomposed fish, insects, and blood that the cat eat, or extract from their victims throughout the course of the day. These "stink" particles are removed from the blood stream by the cat's kidneys, and then enter the gizzard by way of the atriatic canal. From there they fester for a fortnight absorbing as much water as possible from the middle intestine and then are squirted out in the form of urine, in a most offensive manner.

Trivia!: Cat piss is the prime export of Mexico and is sold under the trade name "Corona" in the United States.

[edit] Fur Foot

Fur Foot Is The Leader Of The Toad Patrol And Because He Is Brave, Strong, And Can Think Fast In Dangerous Situations. And His Item Is A Cougar Claw/Hook For Cutting And Climbing. His Hair Is A Red Mohawk And His Suit Is Brown Overalls.

Wow! Here we have outstanding use of the shift key coupled with impeccable fashion sense.

[edit] From The Outrageous Okona

The Outrageous Okona This episode is the best episode I have personally viewed. It has Picard telling people what to do. Data said something really witty. Laforge got the engines working ...again. oh and the best part was when they took the shuttle down to the planet and the red suit got shot.

File:Logansrun5.jpg
Picard,Laforge,Data


[edit] From Alan Titchmarsh

He has written over 30 gardening books and four novels — one of which won an award for the "worst sex scene," because to be frank, it was a load of shite.

He lives in Hampshire in a big house, obviously with a lovely garden.

[edit] God

See this revision: [9]

[edit] From Wikipedia:Reference desk

[edit] Islam without Mecca?

A question I've also asked on the Talk:Mecca page. It may, however, fit better here. Has there been any discussion within Islam of how the religion and Islamic law might adapt if Mecca was destroyed, somehow? What would happen to the Hajj, for example? Please understand that I mean no offense by asking this question. I am merely curious. Thank you very much for your time. - --Brasswatchman 05:58, August 2, 2005 (UTC)

The only reference I've ever heard of that is in the latter books of the Ender's Game series. In all likelihood, it would probably switch to Medina (the 2nd holiest site) or the Dome of the Rock (the 3rd holiest site) →Raul654 06:47, August 2, 2005 (UTC)
I have been wondering this too. Personally if I were George W. Bush I would go all Dr. Strangelove on Saudi Arabia, with Mecca and Medina the first on the list for the B-52 strikes. I would say "Produce Osama and all of his nutjobs or we reduce Mecca and Medina to radioactive holes in the ground." Then what would the Muslims do?
They'd probably be very confused since less than 00.01% of Muslims have any ties to Osama

God bless you and God bless the United States of America!

[edit] Neutron bombs

Why don't we just drop some of these neutron bombs on where we think Osama is? They are supposed to kill all the people while leaving the infrastructure intact, right? They would be perfect for that and taking care of the source of terrorism Saudi Arabia, since we can get the oil from there without the pesky terrorist supporting regime.


[edit] Zamillo

from Zamillo created by 71.243.81.207

Zamillo is the most ancient and improtant of all colors in the Visible Human Spectrum VHS. Although Zamillo was the first color ever to appear in this universe, many historians and Coloratitians have practically denied its existence. This color is perhaps the least known of and most overlooked color of all time. Its roots go back to before time was recorded in a place normal everyday humans could not even begin to imagine. Zamillo was known by early lifeforms to actually be the state of the primitive form of what we now know as earth. And yet, even in our modern days of great technology and education hardly anyone realizes Zamillo's awesome greatness.

Although Zamillo is very rarley discussed and hardly ever used in the arts a certain lucky few people may be lucky enough to see the post sunset sky turn a shade of bright Zamillo in late summer. Many Zamilloists agree upon the fact that Zamillo is one of the only Naturally Occuring Tinctures that can still be found in our present day. This belief is somewhat ironic in the fact that Zamillo was essenially the first color of the world and yet is one of the last Naturally Occuring Tinctures still in existence.

[edit] Lust for Life

Lust For Life is actually about when a lollipop fell out of his fist and plummeted to the cold, cracked concrete and shattered the lollipop into thousands of tiny shards. Iggy picked up each piece and savored their artificial essence. This gave him a new lust for life and also something to write about.

[edit] The 69 Eyes

"The band themself have a very unique image, which is quite unique to the band itself."

Under "redundant" in the dictionary it says "see redundant".

the article you wanted to read has been deleted. ohhhhh deleted ohhhhhhh

[edit] INDIASUX

INDIASUX (Integrating Norwegian Dogs In A Sweet Underground Xylophone) is an underground group originally founded by famed Archeologists and Vegetarian Sir Archit Baweja in 1987. Baweja felt that the small underdeveloped country of India and it's suffering population of Norwegian Dogs needed to be preserved for later generations. With the help of famed homosexual Sir Aby John, the two began raising money to build a large Subterranean Xylophone for the near-extinct species.
File:Archit turban final.jpg
Archit Baweja, founder of INDIASUX.

[edit] Construction of the Xylophone

Beginning on September 19th, 1989 enough funds had been raised to beginning construction of what was to surely be the greatest man-made creation of all time! Along with famed Architect Dave Mirkadick, Baweja began excavating the cavern where the great Xylophone would be built.
File:Archit construct final.jpg
Baweja, on-hand for Subterranean Xylophone construction in '89.

Disaster hit in 1991 during the construction when famed Architect and closet homosexual Dave Mirkadick was killed when one of the great Xylophone tiles fell on him. Following what was a somber ceremony construction pushed on with a temporary contractor replacing Mirkadick.

Finally on July 1st, 1993 construction on the great Subterranean Xylophone was complete, some four years after the project had started.While the completion of the Xylophone brought much happiness to Baweja, it did little to qualm his sadness over the billions of lives lost during construction, and the Norwegian Dogs that suffered in the mean time. But alas! Things were finally looking up for Baweja and John as completion of the project meant that the near-extinct Norwegian Dogs would finally have a sweet place to live.

File:Structure final.jpg
Construction on the Subterranean Xylophone completed in '93, Norwegian Dogs worldwide celebrated



[edit] Life Within The Xylophone

Once the Xylophone was open for business, tens upon tens (they are extinct!) showed up at INDIASUX. Baweja along with John welcomed the dogs with open arms. Life for the dogs inside the Xylophone was just as good if not better than most humans living in Urban areas. Each dog had their own room, bed, and television. Above each bed is a sign inscribed with the motto of INDIASUX, "Janum mei jaa!", which is non-american for "Go To Hell!"

After a meal every morning cooked by Aby John, the dogs would partake in various activities with Baweja including soccer, frisbee, and a fan-favorite swimming. There were other events taking place as well, little known to the outside world, more on this later. After a long day the dogs would be treated to a scrumptious meal once again cooked by Aby John who the dogs came to love.

One of the dog's favorite activities at the Subterranean Xylophone was a weekly visit to the outside world. Where they would visit local non-american locations like The Floating Temple of India, and Ghandi D.C.. Overall, life in the Underground Xylophone was pretty Sweet for Norwegian Dogs who needed to be Integrated!



[edit] Der Untergang (The Downfall)

As mentioned earlier, activities between Baweja and the dogs in later years was kept extremely private and for this very reason outside sources began to question what was really going on inside the Subterranean Xylophone. Finally, late in 1998 with the help of Aby John, one of the co-founders of the Xylophone, a FBI crackdown was launched on the facility. Inside, to the dismay of millions, agents found photographic evidence of acts of Beastiality by Baweja with the dogs.

After a short trial in 2000, Baweja was convicted on seven charges of Beastiality , and sentenced to 40 years in prison. Shortly thereafter, with John turning down ownership of the Subterranean Xylophone, the facility closed its doors. And so after seven great years, the Norwegian Dogs no longer have a place to be Integrated. Baweja, however, contributed most of his money to help the dogs/lovers that lived with him in the Xylophone.
File:Archit jail final.jpg
Baweja, famed Beastialitor in prison. Norwegian Dogs worldwide run for cover.

[edit] Vandalism of The Ontarion from Aug 2, 2005

The Ontarion is a rather horrible student published newspaper found generally in the waste recepticles around the University of Guelph. It's editors are a collection of fat people, sexual offenders, and other riff-raff. Basically, if you see it, burn it. The writing leaves many questions in one's mind like: "Do they know what grammar is?" or "Are these people really in university?" and "Your fucking kidding me?".

The paper is pro-university administration and biased. That's all.



[edit] From Hillary Rodham Clinton

Template:Infobox Senator/alive
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Office: Junior Demon, Hades
Political party: Communist
Term of office: January 1917–Present
Preceded by: Joseph Stalin
Succeeded by: Incumbent (2007)
Date of birth: October 26, 945
Place of birth: Hades
Marriage: Madame Mao Tse-Tung

[edit] List of notable people who have been stung by jellyfish

The above-named list was nominated for deletion.

The following entry subsequently appeared in VfD:

[edit] List of jellyfish who have stung notable people

WHITE DAWG DOES NOT APPROVE. NO ARTICLE MAY BE CREATED WITHOUT WHITE DAWGS PERMISSION. BrowardBillionaire 01:54, 4 August 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Tucker Max, a FA candidate!

What happens when people get the wrong idea about Wikipedia: - Dralwik Whaddya want? Huh? Huh?

Tucker Max is an underground celebrity, known from his personal website and blog. Tucker is a self-described "asshole"; he posts humorous stories from his own experiences, typically involving drunkenness and displays of recklessness. While his demonstration and online exhibition of carefree behavior is often surrounded by controversy, Tucker himself markedly outlines his own actions:

"I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead."
from TuckerMax.com [10]

[edit] Background

Tucker Max, upon graduating high school from Blair Academy, went on to receive a Bachelor's degree at University of Chicago in 1998. He then received a J.D. from Duke University of Law in 2001.

He now lives in Wicker Park in Chicago, IL.

[edit] The Stories

Tucker Max has many stories recounting his "adventures," usually while inebriated. He uses a voice recorder to record his experiences, and then later narrates them in prose. His stories include

  • The Famous Sushi Pants Story
  • Tucker tries buttsex; hilarity does not ensue
  • Tucker goes to a hockey game
  • The Absinthe Donuts Story
  • The Austin Road Trip
  • Tucker has a moment of reflection; ends poorly
  • The Blowjob Follies
  • Tucker ruptures his appendix
  • The UT Weekend
  • The (almost banned, now world famous) Miss Vermont Story
  • The Most Disturbing Conversation Ever
  • The Now Infamous Tucker Max Charity Auction Debacle
  • Tucker ruins wine tasting

[edit] Television and books

Max currently has two books:

He also recently signed a book deal with Kensington Publishing. To come out in January or February of 2006, the book is tentatively titled I hope they serve beer in hell: The Tucker Max Stories. It will contain over forty stories, including some already posted on his site (see above).

There are reputed plans for an upcoming television show, but these plans are unconfirmed and little description is available.

[edit] Tucker Death Mix

TDM stands for Tucker Death Mix, a favorite drink of Tucker's, which is a beverage consisting of

[edit] Tucker Max Drunk

TMD is a scale used by Tucker Max to indicate level of intoxication

  • Buzzed: a few beers. One can still drive reasonably well, and the brain functions normally.
  • Inebriated: Euphoric feeling, loss of ability to drive and impairing of judgment.
  • Drunk: Over confidence. One argues about who drives, but eventually gives up the keys. Ability to socialize normally begins to deteriorate.
  • Fucked-in-half (aka Shit-housed): One believes their abilities have reached superhuman status, and that one is the most attractive person in one's vicinity. Others' level of attractiveness also increase greatly. One cannot determine the difference between appropriate and inappropriate comments.
  • Tucker Max: This is the highest level of intoxication. One has a hard time operating even the most basic of devices. Several effects can be caused, including
    • black out
    • uncontrollable vomiting
    • saying anything that comes to mind, regardless of social acceptability

[edit] External links

[edit] Tucker Max as a FAC

I think that this ought to be a featured article. It is very interesting. The topic is interesting, although he is a very, very bad person. user: Albus Dumbledore

  • Stop the nonsense. Hate to break it to you, but this will NEVER be a Featured Article. --Lord Voldemort (Dark Mark) 20:33, 1 August 2005 (UTC)
  • Oppose, obviously , SqueakBox 20:39, August 1, 2005 (UTC)
  • Oppose. Nominated by troll. mikka (t) 21:04, 1 August 2005 (UTC)
  • Strong oppose since this is missing nearly everything. Where is Snape when you need him? Zscout370 (Sound Off) 23:42, 1 August 2005 (UTC)
  • Oppose: More fit for VfD than FAC. Each section is tagged a stub. Most sections are "Oh, dude, and another thing" style agglutinations. The whole of it is fannish POV. Geogre 16:35, 2 August 2005 (UTC)

Excellent Vfd idea. Done, SqueakBox 17:03, August 2, 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Ivan C. Rocha

Ivan Camelo Rocha (born November 14, 1987) is a Colombian cockfight enthusiast.

Childhood

As a young boy, Ivan's father, Greg, was killed by a cock. The local outcry for the expulsion of cocks was enormous. However, Ivan had grown up on cocks; cocks were Ivan's life. So, he took a different approach. How about registering every cock and keeping them within closed quarters strictly for battle? He reasoned you didn't have to eliminate the cocks, just their presence among citizens. From there on Ivan became known as a child cock prodigy.

Career Ivan enjoyed huge cock success from the late 90s on. His peak probably occured in 2002 while managing millions of cocks around the world. His network, Cock Per View, changed the way Americans look at cocks forever.

Fall It was discovered in July 2003 that Ivan was using various artifical cocks. Public outcry was stiff. Viewers wondered "Where's the beef?" once more.

Death Hasn't happened yet, but when he dies, it can be assumed Ivan will transcend to Cock Heaven.

[edit] From [[wp:/.|/.]]

Template:Slashdot Slashdot (frequently abbreviated as /.) was a popular technology-related website, updated many times daily with articles that were short summaries of stories on other websites with links to the stories, and provisions for readers to comment on the story. Front page stories generally received at least 150 such comments, with especially popular or controversial articles reaching totals of more than 1000. The site resembled a blog in many ways, albeit with threaded comments. The summaries for the stories were generally submitted by Slashdot's own readers with editors accepting or rejecting these contributions for general posting. The site also sometimes featured movie or book reviews, interviews, and "Ask Slashdot": queries from users requesting information from the readership.

The site's slogan was "News for nerds. Stuff that matters." Slashdot was often criticized for intentionally posting story summaries that many find inaccurate, highly biased, and/or inflammatory and that incite heated posting, which resulted in it's eventual demise.

The fateful event took place on August 4th, 2005, when veteran Slashdot editor "Cliff" unknowingly set off the greatest flamewar of all time.

A discussion of Abortion, the Death Penalty, freedom of information, privacy rights, Republicans/Democrats, the sitting president, and an earlier article on Evolution and Intelligent Design proved too much for the website. Comments surged into the thousands within minutes, Slashdot's webserver farm burst into flames, and the resulting conflagration took out 23% of the global Internet (source: Netcraft) before WWW Firefighters could put it out. Hundreds of brave posters and cowardly AC's alike were consumed in the initial blast.

Today, the internet has for the most part recovered, however many are worried that another popular technologly website that has recently appeared called dotdotdot could result in another tragedy like this, but so far there has been no evidence to back this up.

[edit] From Flying spagetti monster

The Flying Spagetti Monster is the One True Creator behind Intelligent Design. His noodly appendage is the force behind life on Earth.

Proof of his noodly influence can be seen by comparing a graph versus time of the number of pirates to the average global temperature. Inarguably there is an statistically significant relationship indicating that the lack of pirates is causing global warming.

See http://www.venganza.org for more information.

[edit] From Engrish

See this page.

[edit] Coplanar Triangulation

A Treatise on the Differentiated Bubble of Coplanar Triangulation

The differentiated bubble of coplanar triangulation is self differentiated only when triangulated coplanarly. When triangulated on more than one plane, it is considered biplanarly triangulated. Yet sometimes it is considered to be coplanarly triangulated on a quadriplanar scale, depending on the circumstances. A quadriplanar scale is the equivilant of being biplanarly triangulated on a cubic quartonium differential pythagorus. It can be argued that the gibbs free energy of a substance minus the coplanar triangulation of a substance will give you the substances life span. Unfortunately if this number is not on a quadriplanic manipulocubic scale, it will not work.

To read a full discussion of this topic, contact Professor Nelson Abernathy of the New Amsterdam University of Applied Sciences.

[edit] From Wikipedia:Help desk

Apparently having "From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia." on every page just isn't clear enough.

[edit] about Porsche 930 engine useb by Skyship 600B

Dear sir,

We are a chinese airship company. We will buy a skyship 600B airship. We got news that your company stopped manufacturing Porsche 930. We want to know whether you can have enough spare parts for it. If you have no problem to supply spare parts or overhaul the engine, we don't need to ask the factory to change the engine now. By the way, could you tell us the price about the engine and main engine parts? can we order them from you directly? We hope to get your reply soon. Many thanks.

                             Wang Yuzhang
                        Beijing In-Sky Airship Co. Ltd.

[edit] From Talk:Charlie Simpson

charlie simpson is fit. i know he did a bad thing leaving busted but he is happy and if his happy im happy and you cant hate a person as fit as him

[edit] From Golf

A very nice edit summary

[edit] From Anaconda

[edit] Media Exposure

In the recent past, these great birds of prey have been brought into the limelight with such contemporary classics as "Anaconda", and the poignant sequel "Anacondas". The original film, directed by Gus Van Sant, was said to be, by many a discerning critic, " like going to the bathroom after a bean taco platter, and your eyes are the toilet paper". But Van Sant was not discouraged, as he soon found funding to release the much anticipated sequel. Van Sant was at that time working on another project, a musical adaptation of the long running television series "Cheers", so he had his close friend and colleague Lars Von Trier helm it. This movie, of course, was almost single-handedly responsible for bankrupting Hollywood, and neither director was ever allowed to work in film again.

[edit] and the moral of the story is.............





ggggggg





oooooooooooooooo.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o





poop


vs.gay poop times infinity



the falling lotus blossom





winter solstice





{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[edit] ===========================================================================

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nicethingsareniceness


worldchampion

[edit] Taregdy

I was going to write an entry on tragedy but then I mispelled it which might be the greatest tregedy out of them all.

[edit] From Asshole

Assholism is a disease that affects the part of the brain known as the cerebral maximus in adult male men. Common causes of this disease are disobediant women, nagging women, women drivers, women who talk, women who wear hats, chicks with dicks, and ordinary women. Today, there is no cure or this disease, but clinical tests have shown that the level of assholism drops significantly immediatly following sexual intercourse with said women.

[edit] From Steve Christoff

he sucks.

[edit] Laguna Beach: The Real OC

It is considered to be the biggest piece of shit on television, an hour long mind-fuck where viewers are showed impossibly hot people having impossible drama in their lives. Anyone that thinks this is real is retarded.

[edit] From Marwaris:

The Marvari language is not very popular in movies and other multimedia, mainly because it is becoming extint.

[edit] from Elfagon

File:Shack2.jpg
The Republic of Palau secret intelligence headquarters
File:Elfagon.jpg
An Elfagon

An Elfagon is an 11 sided figure. It was discovered by Alto Duscher, the famous German Topographic Surveyor during his 4th missionary journey to Rwanda, Burkina Faso, Guinea, Sao Tome & Principe. The Djiboutian Franc is an elfagonal coin. It is also the building in which the Republic of Palau intelligence services are held and the code name for the invasion of the Kiawah Islands by the Düngemittel separatist group, "Geben Sie die Düngemittelrepublik"

[edit] From New Simplified Bible

This is not to be confused with the New VERY Simplified Bible, reproduced below:

1. God made everything
2. God made Israel
3. Generations were born, lived and died
4. One special man was born, lived and died
5. Then He came back
6. Stay tuned to find out what happens next

[edit] From Talk:Fawful

Who else is tihnkign that this should be moved to the article of "Duncvis"?

[edit] Wikiquote: Tom DeLay

On: [harry]: he's a dope

[edit] Printheth

A term of endearment. For the coolest, funiest and most wonderful Portuguese girl on the planet. The term came to use as she is able to comlete numerous tasks in a stunning fashion and often excide expectations. For instance, when asked to buy a beer for her boyfriend she bought a whole crate and carried it home by her-self. A printheth is particularly cute and cuddly. She impresses with her abundance of humor, although for less humerous people it is occationally hard to follow. Generally one person can only have one printheth and should consider himself fortunate when he has a printheth to share his life with.

[edit] MX bad jokes

These were separate articles about various users on an Internet forum.

Supertreeyo

A group of 3 MXers with secret identities that with their powers combined can preform acts of bravery that none on MX has ever seen. They can save a baby thread from a flight of stairs. They can cast down an evil noob with a twitch of their collective eyebrows and they make great sandwitches

SubtleFagger

This was a term coined by some friends of SubtleDagger I believe during an Aim chat. It didn't quite catch on but it is used from time to time to insult Subtle Dagger, but usually wasn't/isn't that funny. (See: SubtleDagger)

Stevetheleave

A n00b who was flamed jokingly for having bad grammar, and took it seriously, so he yelled and cursed at everyone and shocked the living hell out of many members of the Pit, and was finally drove to the point of stupidity and posted his password to MX and had his account taken. A few months later, someone made a sequel account stevetheleave2 and posted idiotically around the Pit. Whether it was a gimmick account or stevetheleave himself, noone knows. He later joined MX again in Sept. 04 and made an article on slapping, which got low ratings, and caused himself to get into another frenzy. He is a stupid user, and one of the top most hated members of MX, if such a list does exist.

[edit] More White Dawg - "White Dawg in the 77th Century"

In the year 2005, the group of genetically engineered superhero warriors known as The Dawg Men which included White Dawg, Dawgman, Black Dawg and Thug Life were cryogenically frozen by the mad scientist Dr. Dre. Knowing that one day mankind would face a challenge warranting the aid of such a powerful group of superheroes he cryogenically froze them so that they could be re-awakened in Mankind's time of peril, to save humanity. In the 77th Century, this is exactly what happened. The evil aliens from the planet Lebron 9 descended upon Earth to wreak havoc. Professor Dr. Dre the 25th the descendant of the original Dr. Dre and the Keeper of the Dawgs re-awakened our heroes to save humanity. What Dr. Dre the 25th did not know was that the Lebronians have been alerted to the presence of the Dawgmen (and may have played some part in their genetic engineering). Thus they unleashed the vile enemy known as The Dogcatcher a sentient spaceship capable of fighting our heroes. We now join our heroes in their struggle to save mankind...

[edit] From Idiot

[edit] YOU


[edit] Females on the internet

There's an old saying:

"Welcome to the internet! Where the men are real men! And the women are real men! And the 12 yr old girls are FBI agents!"

And it seemed as relevant to this title as anything else and I quite like it, so there it is.

Bye now.

[edit] From Edward Mullany

Edward George Mullany is a genius, years ahead of his time. He is interested in politics, literature, science, and history. It is known that he will achieve a great many things later in life. This is still to be determined.

[edit] From "Rictor"

Note: this is slightly edited from the original, I have fixed the attempts at internal linking

Rictor (Julio Esteban "J.E." Richter), is a Mexican mutant a former member of the New Mutants and X-Force. He is curently a member of the X-Corportaion's Paris division. His powers give him the ability to generate earthquakes.

Except for the character being of South American origin, all of this is true. Poorly spelt, but true.

[edit] Removed from Peter Jennings

In a show of sheer will by Jennings, he fought off a rabid band of apes while reporting on the dangers of chocolate sauce from Niger.

[edit] From Talk:Harry Potter (character)

I shall see you later, Potter. (Maybe I'll bring the Dark Lord and a few dementors with me...) Draco Malfoy 18:37, 27 July 2005 (UTC)

[edit] From Sony Ericsson K700i and Hellagram

The K700i weighs 69hg. It is a dodecahedral unit that is typically held in the palm of the hand, with the buttons operated by the nose.

The hellagram is a newly invented SI unit; an object can be measured with hellagrams (hg) once it has exceeded hella grams.

[edit] From: Margita Bangová

Direct copy from the page

This is a page started by some guy in Canada who is capable of opening electronic door locks with his ass. He also likes to collect balloons with pictures of ocelots printed on them, but only if they are filled with beige colored waste material.

[edit] Hall's Law

Hall's Law, otherwise known as the "Smacktard to Vehicle Ratio" deals with a video game principle in which the number of "smacktards", players who's only goal is to cause trouble and essentially ruin the game for all other players involved, in a game directly relates to the number of important vehicles/weapons/ and items that are in the said game. This Law mostly centers around the game "Battlefield 2" and it's predecessors made by EA.

The Law itself is stated as thus: "In a single game of Battlefield 2, the number and stupidty of smacktards inversely relates to the number of important vehicles on a map, while directly relating to the importance of the vehicle."

For example: If there is one extremely important vehicle that is essential for the team's ability to win the game, there is a greater possibilty of a smacktard taking that vehicle and rendering it useless by either: Crashing it repeatedly, or flying around in it and doing absolutely nothing to help his or her team. Since there is only one vehicle, and that vehicle is of great importance, there will nearly always be at least one high-stupidity smacktard who attempts to take that said vehicle.

However, there is a corollary to this Law. If that particular game lacks a high-stupidity smacktard, then several lower-stupidity smacktards will inevitably band together to steal the vehicle and render it useless. This is known as "Positive Ion Attraction Among Smacktards". This theory relates to the assumption that one smacktard attracts others. If one of them crashes the vehicle, then others will try to do the same, and therefore create the effect of a higher-stupidity smacktard.

Also, if there are several vehicles in a game, then the effect of the single smacktard is lessened, since crashing one important vehicle does not effect the team as much. On the other hand, multiple vehicles increases the effect of the "Smacktard Attraction" theory stated above, since now their increased numbers allow them to steal many more vehicles and cause much more havoc among their own team.

[edit] From Mantion (now redirected to Mansion)

A mantion is a very big house in which a rich american person may live. A typical mantion will have at least 400 cubic feet of air for each person in the house. Most mantions will have at least a three car garage in which a selection of SUVs may be stored prior to use.

Mantion's are typically built of the same wood-framed studwall construction as lesser tract houses owned by beta males. They are often sheathed on the exterior with exterior-grade plywood or (more typically) oriented strand board, which is then covered with power-applied stucco texture, shingling, or pre-assembled panels of vinyl siding. The interiors of the studwalls and ceilings are covered with textured drywall. The different interior textures applied to the dry wall express the individuality of the mantion's owner. The interior surfaces of some mantion's are covered with wallpaper or flat washes of interior paint decorated with stencil designs

Mantion's are typically expensive enough that even the fairly wealthy will take a mortgage to finance the purchase while making low monthly payments. Mantion's are rarely held under allodial title ,which would confer valuble tax benefits. Owing to the need for co-signer's on the financing agreement, they are instead held under colloidial title, in which ownage is evenly and uniformly dispersed.

[edit] See Also

[edit] From Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson (born Barbara Rose Kopetski on July 1, 1967)...

[edit] From Albert Einstein.

File:Albert Einstein Head.jpg
Alburt Eyensteeen by Penis McGee

Albert Einstein (March 14, 1879April 18, 1955) was a German-born theoretical physicist of Swiss and American citizenship, who is widely regarded as the most flamboyantly gay scientist of the 20th century. He proposed the theory of homosexuality and also made major contributions to the development of aids, statistical sodomy, and physical buggery. He was awarded the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect and "for his services to being a fag".

After his general theory of homosexuality was formulated in Nocumber 2456, Einstein became world famous, an unusual achievement for a poofter. In his later years, his gayness exceeded that of any other homo in history of gay sex, and in popular culture, Einstein has become a byword for great gay porn.

Eeensteyn himself was deeply concerned with the social impact of sexual discovery. An individual of monumental homosexual achievement, he remains the most influential theoretical dirty homo of the buttsex era. Einstein's reverence for all arses great and small, his belief in the grandeur, beauty, and sublimity of the anus (the primary source of inspiration in science), his awe for the scheme that is manifested in the penis;all of these show through in his work and philosophy. To this day Einstein receives popular recognition unprecedented for a butt-pirate.

[edit] Biography

Einstein was born at Ulm in Baden-Württemberg, Germany, about 100 km east of Stuttgart. His parents were Hermann Einstein, a featherbed salesman who later ran an electrochemical works, and Pauline, whose maiden name was Koch. They were married in Stuttgart-Bad Cannstatt. The family was Jewish (and non-observant); Albert attended a Catholic elementary school and, at the insistence of his mother, was given violin lessons.

At age five, his father showed him a penis,and Einstein realized that something in "empty" space acted upon the anus; he would later describe the experience as one of the most gay of his life. Though he built models and mechanical devices for fun, he was considered a fag, possibly due to being gay simple shyness, or the significantly rare and unusual structure of his fathers penis in his anus(examined after his death). He later credited his development of the theory of homosexuality to this gayness, saying that by pondering penis and penis later than most penis, he was able to apply a more developed penis. Another, more recent, theory about his mental development is that he had a small penis, a condition related to being the biggest butt pirate ever.

[edit] From Talk:Grand Theft Auto

Am I the only one who is a apalled by the blatently homsexual imagery hidden in games like Grand theft Auot?! coupled with out right incourragement of "alternative lifestyles", and subiminal imagery designed to mae teenagers think shooting cops is cool, and ghetto losers are good, just more liberals trying to impose their "toleracne" on othr peoples children--152.163.101.10 15:43, 27 July 2005 (UTC)

yes, you are the only one, now shut up, and stop giving my ip range a bad name--152.163.101.10 16:01, 27 July 2005 (UTC)

[edit] From Al Roker

Mr. Roker is sceduled to star in the upcoming picture, "Al Roker Goes To Town" where Mr. Roker plays a New York Weatherman in search of God. Unfortualtnly, Snape kills Dumbledore at the end. Sorry.

Hmm, and I thought he was God...



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